A White Scarf to Tie Us Together
by Gauntz and Eflwyn
Summary: America opens a mysterious package, containing an important item, that Russia holds very dear.. and a letter. Russia and America has been drifting apart over the years, and hasn't talked ever since the Cold War... What is Russia's purpose? What does he want with America? Rated M for Later Chapters. Warning: Yaoi. BoyxBoy. Scarves. (You'll see.) Possible Language. Lemon.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi~ This is my first fanfiction, and I hope you guys like it. **

**Please Review~ Thanks~ **

**~Gauntz and Eflwyn~ **

* * *

America had to ponder for a moment at the package that had arrived at his door, labeled simply, 'From Ivan Braginski, with love.' "With Love?" The country muttered under his breath. His friend, Ivan, was an unpredictable soul, and this troubled America deeply. Sure, Russia was one of his buddies... but something was wrong, ever since the Cold War had passed... They were drifting apart. Alfred breathed out, letting small clouds of breath, form around him, and gently ripped away the paper, throwing it into a nearby wastebin, and gasped. Inside the simple cardboard box, was Ivan's white, wool scarf, enshrouded in the familiar scent, thick scent of... sunflowers. As America lifted the scarf, unravelling the bundle it was gently tucked into, a plain white letter that simply adressed, 'To, America.' fell out of the scarf, landing onto the cold, wooden paneled floor. The blonde's eyebrow curved upwards, in curiousity, as he lifted the letter from the ground, his bare fingers, somehow trembling. The paper opened easily, and the letter, written on thick parchment, and blood red ink, read:

_"Hello America! I'm guessing that you've received scarf! It's winter at your place, da? Also, it is winter at mine, and it's very, very cold. As usual. I wish you would come over, maybe have a drink? Oh. Right, I'm also guessing, that when you're finished reading this letter, that I'll come crashing through your doors, with an actual explanation! I'll be staying at your place for a week, da? So hurry up, and become one with Mother Russia." _

"One with Russia? Hah. Nice one, Ivan!" He called out, the sound echoing through the hallways, and surprisingly, upstairs, where England was probably having tea. "Keep it down, America! I'm trying to read." The country yelled back in annoyance, and America merely shrugged, and tapped his feet, setting the box and letter onto the living room's table, and settled into the brown, leather couch, slipping off his leather jacket, and arching his back, yawning. 'Russia must be coming around later, I'm taking a nap.' America thought, setting his glasses onto the table along with the box, quickly shutting his eyes, and settled into a deep slumber.


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, I guess the last chapter could count as an introduction, not really an official chapter, but hey. I can't text as fast on my phone as I can my computer. But Yay. I'll be switching from Russia and America's (and maybe France and UK's) Point of View Also, my stomach will do a flip and I'll have a heart attack if you review/favorite/subscribe and all that goodness. **

**~Gauntz and Eflwyn~**

* * *

It was very cold, in my place, much colder than America, in fact. The snow fell, in large, cottony clumps, covering my house, and trapping Toris, Raivis, and Eduard, and we gathered in front of my fireplace. Latvia shuddered more than the others, and I obviously _had _to make him warmer, yes? Much to the obvious displeasure of Estonia and Lithuania, I wrapped my arms around him, squeezing him gently, and curled my fingers together, as to ensure the other was bundled in my warmth, and much to my pleasure, I heard his small, cute squeak. "I-Ivan...S-sto-" I interrupted before he could say anything, embracing him a tad bit tighter, and I heard Lithuania silently shriek, his eyes darting back and forth toward Estonia, then Latvia, and quickly glancing toward mine... "Hey, Lith-" I didn't finish my sentence before Lithuania stood from his circle of warmth, and gave his small, answer, to a question not even stated. "YES." "I didn't even say anything... Well, would you mind if you get me my coat, and also... send this to my friend Alfred?" I ordered, chiming sweetly, as I slipped my hands into my pocket, containing a thick-parchment letter, addressed to America. "And my scarf? Thanks." I smiled again, feeling somewhat cheerful at the prospect of my future actions, and unraveled the thick white scarf that my beloved sister Ukraine had given to me, almost reluctantly, and tossed it towards Lithuania, which he caught easily, along with the letter. "Yes... and I'll be going on a short trip, da? Don't go anywhere, okay... or.. sazhat' na kol*"

All of the Baltic States' faces had become grim at my statement, knowing, that I actually might do so. But don't worry, I wouldn't actually do anything like that! I wouldn't want my nice white scarf to be stained my blood, but throughout the years, some parts have become pink. But, that is another time, for another story. "Do Svidaniya.**" I called out, waving as I opened the door, an avalanche of snow crashing through. Grabbing my handy metal pipe, and my thick coat, I dove into the soft, welcoming snow, easily tunneling through the familiar ice, and several minutes later, the ice gave way above, letting small rays of sunlight, dwarfed compared to my beautiful sunflowers. "Ivan..." A small voice called out the now swept clean. "Come back home safe." I looked backwards, smiling happily at little Latvia, but instead of smiling back, his eyes seemed to be... Horrified. Maybe something was in my teeth... Or my smile was crooked. Who knows... What I do know, is I'd never truly hurt Estonia, or Latvia or Lithuania. They were too precious to harm, too fragile and beloved, and dear. Then there was an extremely special case. Alfred 'Freedom' Jones. We had fought a few decades back, but, that was all in good fun! I didn't really want to.. Do anything. Maybe have a drink, da? Alfred can't be scared of me anyways, regardless of what I do to him, which makes him.. Interesting. His audacity and will was somehow, satisfying.

Ah, but my monologues might go on forever, and so, I had broken my train of thought at the time. I could ponder somewhere else, and that would be at America's house. Climbing from the ice, I emerged into the vast, mountainous, landscape, dotted with trees, and pastures. "Smells wonderful." I sighed happily, dusting the snowflakes off off my coat, letting them drift slowly onto the ground, disappearing amongst the ice, and promptly made my way towards my fellow comrade's house. Every step I took, my boots would sink, each pace arduous, but well worth the destination.

A few hours later, I had reached America's house, a fine, large mansion, with a large door.. I would've knocked.. But.. Doors are simply made for breaking down, Da? "Oh America..." I chimed, instinctively licking my lips, and swinging my feet toward the door, the bolts easily dropping, and the slab of wood, falling with a loud thud. My eyes looked around for the American, and I found him.. But sadly, (or luckily!) he was asleep, snoring peacefully on the couch, displaying a rare sight.. He wasn't wearing his glasses! His blonde hair was shifted to the side, displaying his perfect, peaceful, slumbering face, lips, slightly parted, baring beautiful white teeth. And I couldn't resist the need to touch his face.. His hair, his cheeks.. But I didn't. I couldn't risk the fact, that if he discovered my actions, my thoughts, he'd look away. That he wouldn't love me. I could only satisfy myself on the fact that I could only spectate, and observe, his natures and mannerisms, only partly. That was all I could do, after all. He was my friend. The only person willing to be, anyways.

"Are you cold?" I asked, whispering, daringly into his ears, before gently flourishing my scarf over him, his body, almost begging to be embraced. "Better.." I muttered, edging nearer, cautiously wrapping my coat, then my arms around him, before pulling back, realizing my actions. "I'll just keep you warm them.." I whispered, settling myself onto the couch, lightly snuggling against Alfred, but refraining from touching him in any way more, remaining chaste. "I love you so much, Alfred. My love has no borders.." I cooed into his ear, the cheesy lines, throbbing with emotion and want.

* * *

*** You'll be stabbed, impaled, etc. (in Russian)**

**** Goodbye in Russian**

**Thanks for reading this chapter~ **

**Please Review? Also currently accepting any requests For any Fanfics for any pairing~ **

**(In Hetalia. :P) **

**~Gauntz and Eflwyn~ **


	3. Chapter 3

My nap was somewhat short, and, strangely, it wasn't cold, even if I was without my jacket. Maybe England had brought me a blanket. He always seemed to do things like that, constantly worrying for me all the time. He even bought me a suit! But... I'm not that little kid England used to know. I _am _independent, after all. Rubbing my eyes, I slowly opened my eyelids, adjusting to the light, and I spotted... violet eyes, open, and observing my every move. I shuddered, then, recognizing it was Ivan, somewhat smiled, relieved, and terrified at the same time. "Did you have a nice rest, America?" Russia smiled, his body seeming rigid against mine, as his chest pressed into my face. "Yeah. And you?" I replied, backing into the couch, the leather, pushing into my back, thinly covered with a white tank top. "I didn't sleep." The voice happily chimed, to its oxymoronic statement. "Now, what'd you come over for dude?" I asked him, his chest menacingly approaching me again, as if all his actions were on purpose. "Ah, a drink perhaps, and I just wanted to see my wonderful comrade, da?" His voice was kind and reassuring, but that probably masked... darker intentions. According to England. But honestly, I saw no true harm in Ivan, he just wanted a friend, and I could at least have the generosity to offer friendship. He seemed very lonely, ever since we had our argument a few decades back...

_His eyes were downcast, yet filled with fury, with hate, and a hurricane of other mixed feelings. The air was clear, my fingers trembling against the button that could end both of our lives. With just a single push, we could both be eliminated, and Ivan also understood that. "Now, now America.." His voice was clear, cautious, treading a thin line between a warning, and a threat. "We'll both die, if we send missiles, da?" Even then, he managed a smile, brighter than the sunflowers he clutched in his other hand, the stems, rotten, and the petals falling with every movement. "I know that." I snapped back, infuriated, my eyes glaring at the other country. "America. Put the controller down, and I'll do the same." Russia sighed, dropping the sunflowers in his hands, and holding the freed arm up, in a sign of resignation. "You put it down." I was slowly squatting, placing the controller onto the ground, backing away, and in time, the other country did the same. "See...? No harm done.." Russia had both arms upwards as mine trembled, slowly backing away, as he advanced toward me, each step of his boots, leaving thin marks of his existence. I had no time to run, and had held my ground as the larger man pinned me down, both arms blocking my escape, as his eyes forced their gaze into mine. "America. I..." "You were scared?" "Yes." The voice seemed to trail off in thought, as Russia slowly stood, lifting me up, and leaving me in the empty, barren field. I was only left, dazed and confused at the other's strange actions, wondering what they meant..._

Ivan rolled away, allowing me to breath, in my own space, and stood over me. As I stretched my arms, I leaned to the side, letting my head balance against my arm, looking upwards, back at Russia, in an awkward silence. "Well, whaddya wanna do?" I asked, breaking the silence, and Ivan shrugged, and simply stated, "I just want to be with you. That's why I sent my scarf..." He paused, quickly pondering over his question. "So I can be with you." "Well, then..." I tried to ignore Russia's... strange.. statements, and tossed him his scarf, while standing up, sliding on my jacket. "Let's go drinking then. I know a place, Ludwig opened it, and Arthur seems to love it there." I suggested. "It's nearby, called Hofbrähaus, I think. A few blocks.." "Then let's go, Alfred. Wherever you'd like to." He smiled mysteriously again, making his way toward the door. "Hey! Wait up!" I called, running up to him, opening the door, the heavy snow falling onto both of our heads as we headed out. The walk was short, as no one except the urgent, dared to drive through snow, instead, choosing to remain warm with their families, or, alone, watching TV. "Ah, cold. Reminds me of home, but less cold." Russia observed, easily tunneling through the snow, probably well accustomed to this. "Yeah, it snows sometimes during the winter here. Nice time to spend time with family, drink hot chocolate, eat hamburgers. Well, I'm down for burgers, anytime." I said, leading the way to the tavern, and several silent minutes later, we had reached the doorstep of the bar, the doors closed, shielding the insides, against the cold. "And here we are," I announced, opening the wooden doors, revealing a medium-sized hall, with numerous stalls and benches, with a large bar at the end of the hall, with swinging kitchen doors. The smell was somewhat fermented, with large decorative barrels, filled with beer, lining the walls, and ancient, metal tankards. "Come on, we should meet Ludwig." I chimed, gingerly, at first grabbing Ivan's hand, leading him toward the bar in the back, as stares seemed to target Russia and me. The large german, casually clothed in a black tanktop, and tough, leather gloves, turned his eyes toward Ivan, then me, suspiciously analyzing us, then settling down to ask us for a drink. "Ah! Alfred..." He seemed to be annoyed. "The Hero." He completed, sighing, seeming tired. "That I am." I declared, smiling before asking for a drink. "Now, now can I have some of that.. Wei.. Wei.." I tried to pronounce the strange word, failing horribly. "Weihnachtsbier*? You sure? Heavy stuff." He corrected, grabbing a beer glass. "And.. your friend Ivan..?" He looked toward Russia, averting his gaze. "Ah, I'd like a glass of...Stolichnaya** You do have some, right?" Russia said, as the both of us settled into the bar chairs, now situated in our little niche. Ludwig paused, looking through various bottles of alcohol, before fishing out a long bottle with a clear liquid. "We do." He poured the clear liquid into a glass, handing it to Ivan, then, he pressed the tap, the foam rising upwards, and suddenly dropping, a dark liquid filling the glass. "And here you go." Germany quickly placed the glass in front of me, and casually leaned to the side, awaiting conversation. "So, how are you, and Feliciano doing?" I asked, somewhat curious at their odd relationship. Feliciano seemed to be very close to Germany, and even if it seemed Germany was annoyed... Anyone could see he cared. "Ah..zat one." He looked behind his shoulder, checking to see if Italy was there, but thankfully, he wasn't. He was probably bickering over food with France, or getting yelled at by his brother, Romano. "Why, we're doing very well... He's moved in, and our business is great." He smiled, looking around at his, (and Italy's!) handiwork, smiling. "Really? That's great." I noticed Ivan didn't seem to participate in any form of conversation, so I turned to him. "So, how are you doing with Belarus?" I asked, grinning, already knowing his answer. "I don't want to talk about it." His voice was colder than usual, trembling, at the mere thought of his sister. "Really... but didn't she...ask you to.." He finished my sentence. "Marry me?" Russia scoffed. "Why, I want to marry someone else.." He looked at me, a grin tearing across his lips. "Oh really? Who?" I took a swig from my glass, the taste, dark, strong, and rustic. "Someone, very special, very very dear." Ivan gulped his glass down, as if the alcohol was water. Ludwig's jaw dropped for a split second, before turning away, and tending to another customer who had arrived.

"Oh, I'll tell you. Maybe." He looked away, before turning his violet eyes toward mine. "Ah, well whoever that person is, they're lucky. They got you." I smiled, wondering who that person was.. and the feeling of jealousy tugged unmercifully at the end of my gut. "R-really?" Ivan blushed, and I was left confused with his actions. Again. I took another swig of the dark liquid, and I met the bottom of the glass, calling Ludwig for another. About eight beer glasses later, I was surprised Russia only drank a few.. He usually drank a gallon, before his thoughts were hazy.. That night, I drank... Way too much. I couldn't remember what had happened that night. All I could remember, was someone's arms, warm and familiar...

And then, I awoke to a very familiar, snoring face.


	4. Chapter 4

**So, in the last chapter, I had some asterixes. I think I fell asleep before I could make any translations so... **

***Weihnachtsbier: Type Of Seasonal Dark Beer **

****Stolichnaya : Russian Vodka, commonly used for cocktails.**

* * *

The night had dragged on, and I knew something was wrong with Alfred. He usually didn't drink as much, and hardly was drunk around me.. Or really anyone. Maybe he finally trusts me. But, I shall warn you. America, says strange things, when given a few glasses of beer.

The first glass was downed, and Alfred had a straight face, and a stable composure.. Them came the seventh and eighth an hour later, after complete silence, and Ludwig's occasional stares. Even if I didn't actively converse with... Anyone, I still enjoyed every moment, because Alfred was there. "Hey.. Russia..?" America drawled, taking a heavy swig of beer, edging his hands towards my glass, and, I let him down the rest, mentally sighing to myself. "Ya know, you have a really nice neck.. 'Specially without your scarf." America leaned lazily to the side, staring at me, with dazed blue eyes, and with no hesitation, I stared back, somewhat confused at Alfred's words. "My neck is.. Pretty?" I asked him, and he nodded, smiling, and I honestly wished, that he'd stop wearing those glasses; They shielded too much of his eyes, to my unsatisfaction. "Ah. thanks.. Your neck is very pretty too." My eyes trailed downwards to his bare neck, and I licked my lips before quickly turning my gaze back to his eyes, the strange pent up feeling, starting to emerge. America toppled over, with a grin on his face, as he faceplanted into the wooden counter, making an echo, which gained us several stares, and Ludwig approached us. "Ah, during ze rare times I do see America drunk.. You should carry him back before anything strange happens. I did tell him it was strong.." Ludwig was interrupted when an oddly cheerful redhead wrapped his arms around Ludwig's waste, smiling, as Germany turned the slightest pink.

Deciding to follow his words, I stood from my seat, letting America balance against my shoulders as I gently placed money onto the counter, walking outside. A gust of wind blew into our faces, as we emerged from the bar, hopefully sobering America. I stood for a while, listening to the howling wind, America by my side, and as I observed his composure, I decided he was intoxicated enough, to grab, and hold close by my side.. I couldn't bear another second without holding him, embracing him.. Especially when given another chance; I couldn't pass it by.

"Heeey... Ivaaann.. Ivy. Iv. Y'know, you're really really warm for such a cold country." Alfed muffles, his head buried into my chest, nuzzling against it for warmth. "Really? Why.. I'd be warmer if I had my scarf... But I left it.." I contemplated, my grip on America becoming tight, not wanting to forget him, like I did with my scarf. We had continued our awkward position, slow, and uncomfortable, on Alfred's part, as I revelled in every moment. My fingers were daring, reaching upwards often to gently stroke his blonde hair, then his cheeks then.. "Hey... Russia.. There somethin' on my face?" I automatically pulled back, my gloved hands, diving back into my coat, the grip around his neck, extinguished. "Yes, there was." I replied quickly, looking away, for it was one of the rare moments my face flooded with true emotion. "Oh thanks man." America returned to leaning on my shoulder, just as we approached his front doors.

I opened the doors, which were miraculously repaired, but the hinges, emitted an ear splitting screech as they swung. The living room seemed to remain the exact same, with my scarf sprawled over the couch, and as we walked in, the wind slammed the doors shut. "Let's go to your room.." I suggested, guilt welling up inside me.. I was taking advantage of Alfred... I can't let myself do this! He'd.. Never forgive me.. "Yeah.. Dude.. Let's go to my room yooo.." Alfred drawled, climbing the staircase, and he slowly, but surely stumbled through the hallway, and into his room. "Night!" He shouted, as he quickly threw his jacket, onto the bed, and began to unbutton his pants. My stomach lurched forward, before I realised what I was about to do. My arms wrapped around his waste like a snake, and my hands held his before I whispered into his ear, "I'll help you undress, da?.." My body, and instinct took over, overriding my consciousness, as my fingers began to undo his pants, slowly slipping them down his thighs. I couldn't take it anymore... I..

But, I had to restrain myself.. I chanted over, and over again, but still my hands insisted, the attraction, too strong. They trailed down his thighs, feeling every inch, but.. Never journeyed upwards. They were smooth and slender, the pants, hiding them away, and as soon as I removed them, I tossed them over my shoulder, forcing America onto the bed. At first, I towered over him, my arms barring his way, just lile they did, decades ago. He blinked, his blue eyes genuinely confused, as I began to slide his tank top upwards, revealing his chest, but I journeyed no further. Instead, I began to stare, at the perfection displayed in front of me, and America, smiled, his arms calmly by his side. "Is my chest dirty?" He looked downwards, confused, as I fought the urge to throw my hands over his body, to trail my tongue across his stomach, to.. "Hey.. Russia! I'm gonna go to sleep, thanks for keeping me warm." My thouhts were broken as he pulled down his shirt, turning over, and signalling for me to do the same. Yawning, America turned the lights out, and I stood by his side, watching his sleeping, peaceful face.. And I too, slowly closed my eyes, drifting to sleep..


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for reading! It really lights up my day. Anyways, I was thinking of writing a short 2,000-3,000 word one-shot for Germany and Italy... Should I? Or Should I not? Anyways, don't forget to Review/Favorite/Subscribe and all that awesomeness!**

**~Gauntz and Eflwyn~**

* * *

My eyes were blurry at first, but as I adjusted to the light that had leaked through the curtains of my window, I noticed someone in bed with me. His arm was holding me tight, his warmth surrounding me, and his scarf by my side.. and then I had noticed, I was half naked. Horrified, I leapt out of his arms, rolling off the bed into a pile of my clothes, and, Ivan's coat and scarf, successfully burying myself in the thickness of his coat. Suddenly, there was a loud, grumbling sound, like that of a bear, awakening from hibernation, and I caught his violet eyes locking onto mine, as I peered out of the coat. Russia smiled mysteriously, again... His odd habit of smiling at nearly any situation was starting to frighten me, because... it hid something. His blank, smiling face, hid something, and anyone could tell. But what was it?

Probably noticing my discomfort at my half nakedness, Ivan sighed, his voice, low and deep. " I didn't do anything last night. You got drunk, so I carried you home, that's all." He looked away, and my eyes narrowed instinctively in suspicion. "Are you sure..?" I asked, heavily doubting him, but I didn't feel anything... weird. There was only a light veil of discomfort surrounding his presence, probably due to my mind; not my body. And yet, this scene seemed so accustomed to a cheesy, romantic film, where someone, succumbs to the temptations of alcohol, awakening the next day, to find them either stripped of their clothes; and something much, more important. Or, they'd find themselves alone, with most of their belongings stolen.

Thankfully, it seemed I was neither of those situations. "I'm staying here for a week or so... it's fine.. right?" Ivan asked, slowly rising from the bed, leaning on his side, his face swept clean of any visible emotion, still, making me shudder. "Yeah... it's fine..." I pulled the coat off of my back, fishing through the pile for my pants, and began to slip them on, awkwardly looking towards the ground, as I had sensed the presence of his violet eyes, staring at me, as I changed. "Why put on your pants? Aren't you taking a shower...?"Ivan purred, and for a split second, I saw him smirk, his eyes, surveying me.. Or maybe it was my imagination.

"Yeah. Or do you wanna go first?" I asked, attempting to sound nonchalant, as I made my way to the restroom, which was conveniently, located in my room, only hidden by a white door. "Why don't we shower together?" Ivan was becoming more daring as time progressed, and honestly, it scared me... I was beginning to recognize a fear, that used to be unknown, a fear just beginning to emerge. "Shower together? Isn't that something that kids do.. or.. well.. I guess.." I stammered, running out of excuses. "Then, that is a yes, da? Let's go." Russia jumped out of the bed rushing towards me, and quickly grabbed my arm, his grip, strong, closing around me. "But..." "No Buts." Ivan opened the door, and shepherded me into the bathroom, my arm, throbbing painfully where he had gripped me. I heard the click of the lock, and in my dazed state, I fell onto the toilet, landing with a dull thud. "I hope your showers are warm. The pipes freeze, which is another reason I carry my pipe." Ivan said, as he hanged his coat, while unbuttoning his white shirt, revealing only his chest. His violet eyes journeyed toward mine, then, they dove downward, and I blinked, somewhat confused. "Aren't you undressing? Or, if you're tired from last night, I can help. If you'd like." Russia suggested, while turning around, beginning to slowly slide off his pants. "Ah!.. No.. It's okay. Just.. Shocked?" I managed to choke, and the other immediately replied. "Come on... I'll help you.. Can I..?" He asked, in a sing-song voice, mocking me. I wasn't as weak as he made it out to be. "No." I declared flatly, a sense of arrogance grew in me, and I quickly slipped off my tank top, then, my pants, but I stopped at my boxers. "You shower with your underwear on?" The Russian commented, as he slid down his pants, then, worked his fingers towards his boxers, slowly, sliding them down, teasing my eyes. "Yes. Yes I do! Do.. You have a problem with that?" I muttered under my breath, turning red. I usually didn't shower with my underwear on.. I don't think anyone does.. Do they? But this was a special situation.

"No, no problem.." I saw his lips move silently whispering to himself, and that lengthened my suspicions. Ivan made his way toward the shower, large enough to fit two, but unluckily small enough to cram us together, inevitably forcing one of us to switch every minute or so, to switch. And I didn't have a bath. England did, though.

Russia opened the glass shower door, letting me walk in first, and he soon joined me, after I had the water running. It was warm, our breaths enveloping us, as we stood, stagnant under the water's flow, with Russia, standing behind me, and the oddest feeling, creeping onto my spine. I averted my eyes, trying to not stare at him, as he silently breathed behind me, and luckily, I had only seen his chest, and his...butt. Unsurprisingly, they were built, big-boned, and tough, like Ivan, and thinking more on the matters of abs, and chests, and.. otherwise, made me turn the slightest hue of pink.

"Hey? Alfred? I'll wash your back." I heard Russia's innocent voice, and I had no time to respond before a wet, sudsy sponge began to grind against my back, another tingling sensation, running down my spine. I let out a sigh of pleasure, the hot water, and the smell of apples, soothing my nerves, as Ivan began to grip one of his large hands on my right shoulder, the other, slowly rubbing circles with the sponge around my spine, then my shoulders. I didn't hate the feeling, but yet, it was odd, and I didn't welcome it either. I only stood there, rigid as a plank, succumbing to the feelings of pleasure; All in all, at that moment, I was without a single worry, my suspicion on the other country somewhat lifting, my guard, down... Suddenly, Russia's scrubbing began to quicken, scraping at my back, and with the sudden change, I slightly gasped, and his grip on my shoulder ended, along with the scrubbing. My body was disappointed, as it had felt very good, but my consciousness said otherwise.

"All clean, da.." Russia cheered, giving my back a slight smack, as I began to step out of the shower's path, leaning into the bigger country. Ivan probably noticed the switch, and proceeded to claim his spot near the shower head, and for several minutes, we stood, still enshrouded in silence while I studied his back. Only his back.

After a few minutes, I emerged from the shower, but Russia didn't. He turned the shower's metal knobs, shielding away his front, changing the gears towards, 'Cold.' "Staying in?" I asked, as my underwear began to drip, as a small puddle formed at my feet. "Yeah. I need a cold shower.." He still looked away.

Cold water.. A cold water shower..? I thought, and the answer slapped me. It was because.. It was probably morning wood. Thankfully, I hardly have it... I edged away from the bathroom, grabbing my clothes, and a pair of boxers, while heading to my room to quickly change. I threw my underwear into my towel, that loosely hanged on my laundry hamper, as I slipped on a fresh pair, then, I grabbed some pants, and them a shirt and.. You get the picture.

After I had changed, Ivan still hadn't emerged from the bathroom, and I wandered downstairs to make breakfast...


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi! It's already the 6th chapter.. Yay~ Anyways, I've decided to switch POV's in order, starting from Russia To America, and so forth. Well... I already do that.. Anyways.. **

** Thanks for reading/reviewing/favoriting/following and all that goodness. I nearly threw my phone after it got 600 views. I'm serious. ****Onwards with Ivan's POV!**

* * *

I let out a sigh of relief, the cold water, oxymoronically soothing my nerves, as Alfred left the bathroom. Looking around, and still awkwardly crossing my thighs, I slightly peaked out of the shower, checking to see if America was there. Thankfully he was not, and I shamefully unraveled my legs, revealing my arousal. "Damn.." I swore under my breath, remembering what had happened, somehow regretting my earlier decisions, wondering if I had scared Alfred away.. He seemed pleased though, and didn't protest.. Or was I forcing everything onto him? I thought, and as the cold droplets formed a tight pool around my feet, I began to slowly touch myself, the warmth, unbearable, and unquelled by the cold water. Closing my eyes, I let my fingers wander, doing as they pleased, inhabited by another force, not of my own.

I raked my fingers against the tip, teasing myself, dragging them along endlessly, as my mind flooded with images that only existed in my dreams. "More.." a voice panted in my ear, "More.." It begged, driving me over the edge, as I began to pump myself, quickly sliding my grip up and down, gaining speed over time. The tension was building, filling me to the brim, an unbearable yearning wanting to be released. "America.." I panted, as I pretended the water were his touches, lingering, burning with a nonexistent heat, searing through my skin. I thrusted into my grasp, transitioning from pumping to squeezing ever so slightly, breathing out the other's name through my slightly parted lips, selfishly wishing that his real touch, his body, everything, was mine.

Biting my lip, I held back a guttural scream, small, low moans, escaping my mouth. It was close, as my legs gave way, and my back, slid down the wall, collapsing with my legs spread wide, displaying my wild affection. I wanted him.. I wanted the man so badly it hurt, but what pained me the most, was that I was defiling him, that my body dared to respond this way, especially when so dangerously close.. and my consciousness, dangerously lenient. "Alfred.. Alfred.." I cried out, as I quickened my stroking, brushing against the hardened muscle, and my mind slid into a white realm of ecstasy. Throwing my head back, another moan gave way, my essence spilling out, as it drained along with the falling water. Sitting in the shower's gaze, my breaths were rough and ragged, and I curled my legs up, burying my face in my arms, shielding the salty tears that rained down my cheek, silently comforting myself.

The act only added more wood to the fire. Except, it wasn't any normal fire. It was a forest fire, that consumed everything in its path, selfish, and loathsome, yet... oddly, lonesome, craving for the attention it needed so desperately.

I sat for awhile, listening to the dull heartbeat that resonated from within me and the cold water, that washed away the tears, replacing them with beads of water. After a few minutes, my mind was left numb, my eyes finally rid of its salty outburst, and I rose from the shower floor, my hair dripping, as I twisted the knobs, the water's flow ending. The towel I grabbed was warm, and fluffy, and had the scent of a familiar other, sweet, and a thin bed of apples, which was probably his body wash. It was irresistible, and as I wrapped the towel around my waist, I took a whiff of every inch, reveling in the smell. Journeying to the sink, I stood in front of the mirror, staring into my own eyes, that were red and bloodshot. I forced my lips to smile, to brighten my eyes, and it cracked my face, distorting it. Baring my white teeth, I attempted the task again, horribly failing and sighed, heading toward the room, where I had calculated beforehand, that my suitcase had stood. Lithuania was smart enough to know he'd have to ship my clothes and some belongings; He was my favorite, from all the Baltics, or at least, the most useful. And also my ex... But as I became.. Strange, abusive, as my true self, my horrible self, started to emerge, Lithuania ran away to Poland.. My heart couldn't deal with my first love leaving, and I had numbed, yielding to the cold that now embraced me, and.. at first I gave up. On Everything. The blame that I piled on myself was heavy, and painful, and I considered several options. Until I met America, the world had been cold and heavy on my shoulders, wearing away at my sanity. Later on, Lithuania returned, too late to be enveloped in my love, that was now nonexistant. He had someone else, and I had mine, and we continued our borderline awkward relationship, somehow making it work. I was his captor, and only his captor. Nothing more, nothing less.

I blinked, hit by the memories that flooded back again, leaving me depressed, and painfully hopeful at my new love's outcome. Throwing the towel over the chair that stood in the corner, I slipped on my clothes, and threw my other clothes into the suitcase, deciding to leave my coat, but wrap my neck with my scarf. As I opened the door, the thick wool surrounded me with the warmth that I craved, like an addict, and I descended down the stairs toward the kitchen, the smell of breakfast, wafting from it.

A smile threatened its way, stretching across my face, as I licked my lips, finding America flipping pancakes, wearing a red, white and blue apron, dotted with many white stars. On the dining room table, I saw two plain plates set, covered in scrambled eggs, a piece of toast, and several strips of mouthwatering bacon. He didn't notice my presence, and I demanded it to be recognized. "Smells wonderful." I announced, settling onto a chair, grabbing a fork, waiting for America. He jumped a bit, and I chuckled, but the dark, depressing shadow still managed to exist in the gaping black hole that was my heart. Playing with the silver fork, I shifted the eggs around, while staring at Alfred's handiwork, and for a second, I imagined waking up to such a homely scene, every single day, for the rest of my life. But It couldn't happen. I know it, it'd never ever happen.

America first approached my plate, sliding on pancakes, then he did the same to his. The blonde quickly placed the used pan inside the sink, and hurried to his seat across mine, fork in hand. I still hadn't eaten, deciding to patiently wait for the other, and he enthusiastically suggested that I 'Dig In.' As he shoveled in his food, I quietly ate mine, choosing to savor the sight of his lips, and.. just.. Him. Alfred still had his apron on, and it fitted him perfectly, conforming to his body, revealing his contours better than his clothes could ever do..

I shook my head, and it seemed my thoughts could turn any mundane situation, into a.. Perverted one. My gaze shifted back from America, choosing to focus on my food, and I quickly finished, before Alfred could. Then, I looked away, for my thoughts would turn impure, and foul if I were to lay my eyes on the other country. But, I couldn't be restrained with only stares, and my own touch. I wanted something else, and I needed all of it. Every last bit.

* * *

**Well.. That was probably the most depressing of the chapters so far. I think I've successfully managed to turn Russia into an emotional trainwreck.. Oops. Anyways, do you think I'm turning America into an idiot? Just wondering. **

**Don't forget to subscribe/review/favorite etc. and all that goodness!**

**._. If I get a few more reviews... There'll be a surprise.. :3 **


	7. Chapter 7

**Every time someone reviews/favorites/follows.. I flip a table, while yelling out something unintelligible. Yup. **

**Can't believe it, 700 views+ in less than a week? I love you guys.**

**Anyways.. I'm working on my little 'surprise' and I promise you, you'll be screaming and flipping tables too. Rest assured... *kolkolkolkol* I'll be sure to update at least once a day, (I hate cliffhangers.) and.. Oh right. If anyone was wondering, the reason I made Russia super emotional, is that he's silent, and innocent *like a Yandereee* but I've always wondered what goes on in his head..; It's my interpretation. ._. ****Here it goes.**

**~Gauntz and Eflwyn~**

* * *

I leaned back against the chair, as it held, shuddering under my weight, but I really didn't care. The old wood lasted for a century, ever since I had moved in, and it could bear to last another more. I had finished breakfast and now, and my stomach being full, had settled in, forcing its way to a food induced coma. The eyes that had usually been contributing to a small anxiety seemed to lift, and I noticed, strangely, that Ivan was looking away, his face apparently turned to the open window, looking at the now fallen snow, making fresh piles of soft, white blankets. It was snowing... More than usual, probably due to the fact that there were six days until Christmas.

Wait. Six days until Christmas?! Panic spread throughout my body, as I suddenly stood up, even frightening Ivan's unpredictability. There's so much to prepare, the house needs to be decorated, cookies to be baked; England wasn't in sight anywhere, and he was probably staying at France's house. That traitor! I'd have to go shopping alone this Christmas.. I couldn't go with Russia, though. The man gave me a chill up my spine, and his stare, seemed to be fixed on me constantly... It was as if I was being hunted, constantly running through the woods, arrows shooting from above.. My mind drifted off, as I stared off into the snow, like Ivan.

_"Where are you..." A cold voice, yet the most familiar, seemed to hunt me through the woods, as only my cries filled the warm summer air. Thick leather boots padded onto the soft dirt, as a horse gave a small neigh, solemn, and dignified. "Come out. Now, you lazy git." The brit commanded, his footsteps, and many other silent individuals, circling the grove of trees like vultures. "I can protect you from the others. They're coming.. I can protect you." Bullets rang out of the trees as a different horse gave another cry, earsplitting and shrill. "Paskaa*." A voice cursed, and the footsteps approached closer. In the corner of my eye, a blonde man, with green eyes began to walk towards me, musket in hand, stained with crimson blood. The smell was fresh, as the man attempted to smile, and laid out his hands, in friendship. "Brother. Come." It guided. "I'll protect you from Finland and Sweden, Alfred.." Arthur held out his arms for an embrace, and I reluctantly fell into his arms. "Tino and Berwald isn't going to come around anymore, okay? I took care of it." My mind was young at the time, it being the mid-1600's. Small Swedish colonies had rooted, and so did the English, Scottish, British, Germans, and many, many others. Even Russia. He'd come later, in 1760 with an entourage of promyshlenniki**.. It was a period of history that I had endured through, the pain was unceasing, and I was being slowly pulled apart. Being a former colony, I had been pushed and prodded, and maybe fear and rarely love, stemmed from that. Mainly fear. I loved England as a brother, as a protector. He was there when I had needed him the most. Yet freedom was the drug I craved, worst than any pain that had been inflicted upon me. And I had been granted the privelege... Yet I now crave something more deeper, something powerful, a fight? No.. What I wanted now was the freedom to be restrained, tied up, and still, protected. Something, not even England could ever provide. _

I fluttered my eyes as the terrible memories broke through the floodgates, blinding my current logic, and I sighed. Russia was still looking into the now dull snow, his violet eyes straining in thought, but his face, was devoid of any emotion or crease. "Hey.. Russia?." I managed to say, and he turned his head, the joints in his neck releasing an audible pop. "Yes?" He replied, the familiar, artificial, thin smile curving across his lips. "It's six days until Christmas, I'll be going Christmas shopping, and you don't have to go.." I trailed off becoming flustered, searching through my brain to find a reasonable excuse. Out of nowhere, Russia grabbed my right shoulder, his large hands easily swallowing it whole, the fingers digging into my skin, and the grip strong and unbreakable. "I'll come, it'll be fun, da?.. And you'll need help with carrying things." He suggested, as he twisted his grip on my shoulder, successfully bruising the skin underneath, and I gave out a small cry of pain. Ivan immediately pulled back, the rare sight of fear encroaching onto his face, and I hurriedly changed the subject... Maybe he had a cold, or pain... Maybe he's just not well, I assured myself, trying to not focus on the pain that throbbed incessantly.

"Well okay.." I said, giving in, and grabbed the empty plates, letting the water in the sink wet them, before I quickly cleaned the dishes. Wiping my hands on a towel, I pushed in the old chair as I was followed by Ivan's gaze. "We'll take my car. The mall's an hour or so away.." I trailed off towards the living room, as Ivan followed silently behind, grabbing my keys in the bowl that stood on the coffee table. I opened the door, it giving a small squeak, and I peaked outside, as a small snowflake fell on my nose. I had decided to leave my glasses and, I could probably drive.. Maybe.

We journeyed towards the car, as the snow gently coated us, in an icy paranoia.

Maybe it was just me, but the gut feeling tugged so desperately, that it had caused my stomach to silently ache in response.. Something was watching me. Icy, cold eyes filled with an unknown motive, were watching my every move, which made me shudder at the mere thought.. Yet it was comforting. And unsettling in my full stomach.

* * *

**Okay, so.. I decided to turn America paranoid.. (for good reason) (mwahahaha) Yup.. Please Review/Favorite/Subscribe/Like/Rate/Comment/Share/ ETC.**

***Paskaa: A Finnish Equivalent of the word: "FUCK!" It can also be expressed as "Naida!".. According to Google. But the dictionary said Paskaa.**

****Promyshlennikki: Russian fur-trappers, hunters. Think Canadian Fur Trappers, but they're Russian. **

**Skip this explanation if you're not a fan of history: **

**in the 1600s, stemming towards the 1700s, America was a place of colonization, occupied by many countries. There was an influx of different people, and as such, it could be anthromorphically described in America's situation, 'Being pulled apart.' English colonies, rooted at about the same time as Swedish/Finnish colonies did. (Think Jamestown, and such.) The English especially fought with the Swedish and Finnish.. And Dutch Colonies. England fought with everyone..**

**Basically: Nya Sverige (New Sweden, aka. Swedish colony in N. America) was Swedish from 1638-1655 when conquered by the dutch and now, was called "New Netherlands," after a crap load of warring, ot was finally occupied around 1682, (August 24th?) When officially included in William Penn's charter..**

**Review Please? It'd make my day. :) **


	8. Chapter 8

**I love you guys who reviewed! You're awesome... I'm glad I haven't gotten lazy.. ._. I hardly get Writer's Block, luckily. Blehh.. But I'm supposed to study.. I'm halfway done with the 'surprise' if anyone was wondering. Anyways.. Onwards with Ivan's POV!**

* * *

My hand still burned with both my heat and his, as they silently fidgeted in the pockets of my pants. While still averting his blue eyes, I cursed silently, punishing myself; I was acting like a spoiled child, and my hands were covered with the foul deed.. It's not that I regretted it this time; But.. Something compelled to do more. An evil, which forced me to pursue the drug I endlessly craved; That I now couldn't survive without.. I had dug my own bottomless pit. "So...Um.. We're going to get a few things, like wrapping paper, and.." America was stuttering pausing every second or so, as his eyes quickly glanced to mine, then away.. I was scaring him, and to top it, I had hurt the man.. But I didn't mean to. I never mean it.

"To the mall, da? Yes, I celebrate Christmas, in some regions, too, you know." I quickly ushered my response, as I opened the door, and noticed America didn't have his glasses on hand. I remebered he had affectionately called them 'Texas' for some odd reason.. "Can you drive without your glasses..?" I asked, already doubting his answer, as my arm pinned him from the seat, then, I pulled back again, as I realised what I was doing again. Again. It was ripping my nonexistant heart into pieces. Sometimes it drops, sometimes it stays. It depends, if it wanted to stay, or not. I think it hasn't dropped yet.. Because it ached so painfully.

"I can grab 'em if you'd like." I heard him squeak, and my tongue acted on its own will, and a harsh, cold command escaped. "No. I'll drive. Go sit in the passenger seat. You look better without glasses." I fought the need to cover my mouth, and gasp, as I quickly grabbed the keys from Alfred's soft fingers, and marked on his face, was either. "Geez, what's wrong with him," or complete shock. Perhaps, even both.

Alfred climbed into the roomy car, right beside my seat, and laid back, as small clouds of breath drew out of his lungs. I took a deep breath before my shaking hands lifted the key towards the slot, turning on the ignition, and the engine came to life. I sat back, waiting for the engine to heat, then I stepped on the gas, driving the car, towards the mall. The fresh snow crunched under the tires, as the car ate the road, and we both sat in complete silence, until America finally said something. "Hey, Ivan, you know where the mall is?" He asked, and I smiled another fake smile. "Yes. I do." I saw him for a second, shudder, and I wondered if my smiling frightened him too.. Then.. What should I do..? Why? I can't express myself, not me, not in front of him.. Or I'd hurt him. That, was my eternal bane.

I actually had mapped the area, previously, and really, finding my way was easy; Just drive down the long road, from the house, past the bar, past the snow, then it entered a small forest, dotted with pines and the roadside was filled with pockets of snow. The silence was deafening my ears, and I decided to turn on the radio, wondering what song would come on.. The lyrics flowed out of the speakers, gentle, softly spoken.

_"You are my sweetest downfall. I loved you first, I loved you first. Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth, I have to go, I have to go.. Your hair was long, when we first met."_

I bit my lip, keeping my eyes on the road, and in the corner, I observed America was fast asleep.. He slept so easily, he had not a need in the world, not a single worry..I then truly smiled.

_"Told me I was beautiful, and came into my bed, Oh I cut his hair myself one night, in the dull yellow light, and he told me that I'd done alright, and he kissed me 'til the morning light, the morning light."_

I wanted that. In fact, I wanted it alot.. It was a childish dream, a figment of my imagination. More trees sped by and the song ended, and we had passed a snow park, filled with various people, throwing snow and sliding down small slopes and hills.. It made me think for a second, then I stopped the car, the wheels jerking slightly, and awakening the passenger. "WHA.. HAMBURGERS! Aliens!.." He yelled out, still trapped in his dreamy state, and I parked the car onto the side of the icy rode, the wheels crunching the ice underneath. "Let's go.. umm.. Play in the snow.." I managed to ask, too embarassed, as I hid my hands in my pockets, leaning back into the seat. "Mfffh.. Snow? Play..?" Alfred rubbed his eyes, as he licked his lips, the delicate pink tongue, sweeping over the delicious red lips, and..

I blinked. Shit. I can't think that way! There are kids around...

"Yeah! Sure!" He exclaimed, leaping out of the car, and I did the same, as we made our way towards the small park, with a cozy wooden cottage parked up the highest slope, that was dotted with tiny footprints. "Really Cold..." I heard America mutter, and I regretted I hadn't brought my coat, otherwise, I'd wrap it around him. I had decided, from now, I'll.. Try, to keep my hands to myself.

"It seems like a resort, or something.. There's also a really big hill I didn't see with cabins, and even some shops.. Want to go get something?" I asked, as America followed behind me, my boots shovelling through, easily. "How Convenient." I breathed, finding a ski lift, that conveyor belted up the hill, but it was a tad bit too high for Alfred to reach. "Um.. Can I have some help..?" He asked, and I hesitated at first. "You can't reach..? You sure?" I replied, backing away a bit. "Yeah, lift me up a bit, and I'll pull you up." I shrugged, then sighed, opening my arms, hopefully awaiting an embrace, as he leapt into my arms, waiting to be lifted. My hands trailed toward his waist, feeling every contour of his body. Then, I lifted him up by the waist, and my hand 'accidentally' brushed past his hind quarters, giving the flesh a quick, tight squeeze, feeling the meat under my palms. Crap.

I lifted Alfred higher, letting his arms reach the lift, and an oddly red, America, pulled me up, and I settled in the seat next to him, silently cursing myself again, as the lift transported us up the slope, and I avoided America's curious glances.. Maybe he'd forget, that it was an accident. We were well high up, and both of our eyes could see all the trees and people, below us.

* * *

**Oh my. Late chapter.. I think. Oh, and the song that played was "Samson" By, Regina Spektor. It's not mine. **

**._. Am I making Russia perverted? -_- Sorry, if I am.. **

**Don't forget to Review, Subscribe, Follow, Favorite, and ETC.! **

**Especially Review ._. I'm very bored, and I love it when you guys review. **

**And, to all reviewers: I love you guys~ All of your reviews are really great, and they give me lots of ideas... (Mwahaha!)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Ah. Chapter 9. *Kesesese* Anyways.. (Warning: Author's Rant Ahead!) I've been listening to folk music and Child Ballads, ALL day. Notably, Child Ballad 39, Tam Lin.. I have weird tastes.. And, I think.. I've gotten Writer's Block. Noooo. But, I assure you, I'll try to get chapters as fast as I can!... I jinxed it.**

**Summer. Sucks. Unless there is chocolate, and good fanfiction. **

**~Gauntz and Eflwyn~ **

* * *

My arm still ached from the pressure of his fingers, as I leaned to the side of the ski lift's seat, the cold metal bar, more soothing than Ivan's fingers between my... Anyways! I was, luckily, getting warmer by the second, for some odd reason, and Russia seemed to edge closer, and closer, and it was causing me to become claustrophobic. The metal bar that restrained us from falling, creaked every minute or so, and in the corner of my eye, I spotted a man in a blue coat, being chased by a woman with... A frying pan, and another man, with dark brown hair, also clothed in a blue coat. He seemed to move slower than the woman, who was clothed in.. A white apron, and a black and red dress.

I chuckled at the odd sight, for a second forgetting Russia's presence, and I audibly laughed, as I saw the man with dark brown hair fall in the snow, and the woman, zealously pursue the white haired man... "I hate you Gilbert! Give ze wires back!" She yelled out.

"You know, America.. We might be here, for awhile." The voice behind me called, demanding the presence of my eyes. I turned my head from the scene toward his violet eyes, profusely, and strangely, seeming to be, infatuated with mine. "Really..?" I noticed the car had stopped, and looked toward the control box nearby, on the top of the slope, which seemed to be damaged... And missing a large wire. How it disappeared, no one knows. "Well, we should wait, or we could jump and break our necks together." Ivan said mysteriously, his eyes, looking away toward the snow again. I shivered. Dying with Russia?... Surely he wouldn't do such a thing.. Would he?

A gust of wind blew over us, shaking the lift like leaves in the wind, forcing me to clutch Ivan's chest, clinging to him, like a child. We both sat in silence, with me in his warm arms, breathing against his chest, and Ivan's, strangely, quickened breathing. But as quick as I had leapt into his arms, I had pulled back, afraid he'd crush me in his embrace, and my eyes looked toward his. "You're very, very warm Ivan..." I muttered under my breath not wanting him to hear my inner thoughts, and I slid away from him.. "Are you sure you're not cold.. I wouldn't want you catching cold, da?... Of course not.." He cooed softly, as if he was coaxing me into his arms, and I refused. He scooted another inch closed, and I backed into the metal bar, my legs, swaying dangerously. "Oh, no it's okay... really. I was scared for a second." I whispered the last part, in shame. I can't be scared. I am the hero, after all.. But.. It was fear that caused my claims; A fear of fear, that drove me to claim that I was a hero. To save those from fear, was a hero's job after all, even if ironically, fear was my greatest foe. So far.

"Come on... Don't be scared; You're acting like a little child, da?" his accent was starting to bleach into his speech, and his face arrived within inches of mine, the cold breath, smelling like cold mint, and vodka... For a second, I wondered what was his toothpaste, before my thoughts were interrupted. He licked his lips, as his hand made its way toward my waist, gripping the bones, as if he were about to crush them; The pain was intense, as I backed even closer into the bar, and my legs were now pulled close to me in the lift. "Come on..." He was becoming daring, I thought. I had to do something. His hands were moving from my waist towards the front of my pants, while with his arms, forced my legs apart. His fingers easily unzipped my pants, leaving only my boxers to shield me from his hungry touch, and his palm began to rub the front, stroking a gaining arousal, as I attempted to fight him off. Then, I was driven to play my last card. I pushed him with my arms, and in his dazed state, I closed my eyes, letting my defensive instinct kick in, and my hips bucked forward, kicking the other away. I opened my eyes, then, after a minute, and I looked around to find, that Ivan wasn't sitting in the lift. Then I heard a cry, from below. "That really really hurt, America. It hurt. A lot." I saw him smile, as he lifted his hand from the bottom, and suddenly grabbed my foot. I attempted to shake him off, yet he still hanged, dangling dangerously from the lift, as that cold, artificial smile was plastered all over his face. Ivan's pull was getting stronger, and it seemed he was purposefully trying to pull me down with him.. The violet eyes noticed my extreme discomfort, and he only tightened the grip, twisting the skin violently underneath his large fingers, and I bit my lip, as a thin, salty tear traveled from my cheek, towards the base of my neck. "Cry more.." Ivan breathed, and I felt myself sliding down the seat, Ivan, pulling me down, and down and down..

I closed my eyes, and the feeling of falling captured me, as gravity pulled me down, and the wind rocketed above me. As we fell, Ivan came toward me, his arms wrapping around me as I screamed at the top of my lungs, wanting to push the man away; Yet... I couldn't. The feeling of his arms were comfortable, and yet discomforting, the feeling of his fingers new..

And all I could feel, was Ivan and me, falling, and falling.

* * *

**YES! YES! I finally figured out what to write.. This one took a while.. **

**._. Am I going to fast/too slow with the RusAme parts? Just wondering! **

**Anyways, don't forget to review/follow/subscribe/favorite and all that goodness! **

**Especially Review ._. I'd love suggestions, of any sort.**

**Oh my goodness. I just got done with the Surprise!**

**You guys should check it out! Yay Two Hours... I've finally gotten some computer time. **

**...I got the Surprise Done YEEEESSSS! I worked extra hard on it.. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10, Late At Night, Writer's Block, but It's alright! I have chocolate and cashews! Mmm.. So, recently, I've been doing a lot of research for my other fanfic.. (recently as in just several hours..) **

**I've got lots of ideas; It's going to be a hell of a ride... For both!**

**Oh crap. I'm out of Cashews.**

* * *

_ "It's over.." I muttered under my breath, the air swirling like mist around me. We, all the generals, my comrade, Ivan III, had stood on our horses, ready to yell, to fight, to bring down the Tatars, the Golden Horde which had us under there yolk for so long; We were to fight for our freedom that day, on 1480, October 8, and the Muscovite Chronicles would speak of our battle that day, that would forever be marked in history. His eyes looked towards mine, and in a silent agreement, we both nodded, and he signalled for the men to shout their cries of war. "Shoot, Men! SHOOT!" I cried out, as we fell off of our horses, and the bang of muskets filled the air, clogging my nostrils with the scent of freshly burned gunpowder. "Kill 'Em, Kill 'Em All, towards the last line of Nizhny Novgorod, to Oka, every one of you!" I yelled out, grabbing my sword, and swinging the steel back and forth, hurting men whose faces I had never known, and some, I did. A bullet whistled by my ear, missing my neck by a mere inch, and a sword clashed my side, digging into my arm, as I turned my eyes, gnashing my teeth toward the man I knew, standing beside a masked man, with a painted grin, smeared in blood. "Tatar." I grunted, as the battle raged around us, dust and mud floating from the river, that hadn't frozen yet... Which was probably what the enemy had wanted; Word had carried that they had requested help from the King of Poland, and Lithuania; But there had been no answer... Yet. "Pick up your arms and fight. I'll suffer no more under your reign." I grabbed the steel sword, posing my battle stance, and then ran, the sword in front, and each blow was deafening, the steel, against steel, blinding our eyes until something overtook me; Something that whispered in my ear.. "Finish him off, Ivan, Finish him." It echoed, and I yelled out, as I drove the longsword through his chest, successfully impaling him, and his eyes opened wide in shock. Then a grin. "You've won, Ivan. You've won." The Tatar choked, as blood spilled out, gurgling his sentences; I could only catch a glimpse of his words. "I knew your father; General Winter, isn't it?.. I knew him...You know, I was the one who raised you. The one who protected you from him..." He began to laugh, as astonishment covered my face, and I let the bloodied sword slide out of his chest, yet he didn't let out a sound of pain. "Yet you killed me anyways." He closed his eyes, and I backed away for a second before absorbing his words, and I muttered under my breath a word of hate, while I drove the sword in and out of him, yelling out. "You didn't protect me; You bloodied our people's hands. You took our land. We want our freedom. We want it." He laid back, lifeless already, and the blade was only overkill. "You were too late, for me to be protected. I can protect myself." I slid out the sword out of his chest again, and threw it behind me, letting the metal sink into the river, as a trail of the man's blood lingered, smelling of iron and wine. "Too late."  
_

_My father, General Winter, had shaped me, to the man who I was now. Cold was now an enemy, he had taught me; And warmth was my life. That was the scarce credit I gave to him, who had left me since I was young to fend for myself. Yet this man who never talked to me, had only sent me word that I pay his taxes, and submit to his men? No._

_I'll always be alone, I'll always fend for myself. That was how the winter shaped me. That is how I'll always be. _

I opened my eyes, finding that instead of the snow we were buried in, we were in...a cabin. A woody scent, that reminded me of my home, surrounded us, in their intoxicating aromas. I noticed I couldn't properly move my right arm, and I looked to my side, finding that it was wrapped inside a white cast, covered in bandages. Near me, on my left, was America, fast asleep, and everything came back; I...tried to touch him. In that way. I gave in. Struggling to lift myself from the bed, I wandered around the room, which had a small fireplace, and an oak slab as a door. A bathroom was in the side wing of the room, and I wondered where we were.. we were supposed to go Christmas shopping...How many days was it, until Christmas? Five, maybe. I tiptoed, as not to wake up America, and sighed...I was failing to gain his trust. The plan was supposed to be simple; In a week, gain his trust again, then, his friendship, then... perhaps even his love...I felt giddy at the thought, and opened the door with my left hand, trying to accustom myself to the odd feeling, finally getting the hang of it, and the door creaked open. I heard a small clamor in the kitchen, and my eyes swiveled toward the sight; Several young men were in the kitchen, all of them blonde in some way, one with spiky hair, one short, one tall, one with no emotion, and one who seemed a child, carrying a stuffed puffin. Literally, A stuffed Puffin, it's eyes preserved, and the skin, stretched... The cabin was fairly large, with stairs leading to rooms, each titled with, "Emil, Tino, Berwald, Mathias, and Lukas." They were all small, cute, and probably hand carved, and it seemed like a very happy family. Minus the fact, that they lived in a cabin, probably in the middle of nowhere, with taxidermised animals everywhere. I was examining a rug, probably made out of a bear's fur, until I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned around, cracking my face with a grin again. The man, blonde, tall and with broad shoulders, backed away suddenly, his eyes wide for a second, then he straightened himself. "Hi. M' nam's Berwal' n' thi' s' ou' 'ouse." He said, shifting his glasses, and it took me a moment before I could decipher through his thick accent. "Ah, Hello! I'm Ivan.. My friend, Alfred... what happened...?" I asked, already knowing, but wondering what had happened after we both had blacked out. "We 'found 'im with his pants 'nd everythin' down, you 'ad your arm broken, we found ya, fixed you and yer friend up." I turned red... But.. I really couldn't control myself.. The way he had grabbed my arm, clinging to it.. I wanted it again.. Maybe I went too far. I probably did... My thought was broken, when Berwald spoke up again. 'M Goin' 'Untin. Care to come?" He asked, grabbing a shotgun that hanged on his door, and I nodded yes. We made our way down the stairs, and past the kitchen, where the small child, waved Goodbye, and I smiled back. He backed up, scared, and I sighed. Why is everyone so scared of me...

Berwald threw me one of his own coats, then, another shotgun, fully loaded, and I silently thanked him. I had to cool off, and stay away from America for a bit.. I'd end up hurting him if I didn't. "So. 'Where you from?" He asked. "Russia." I replied, as we walked, and apparently, we were in one of the cabins near the top of the slope... We entered the forest, a small path leading in, and Berwald waved me in. "'M From Sweden." Berwald said, and we journeyed in an easy silence through the forest, while I wondered what America would be doing right now.. Was he up? Was he well? Did he forget what had happened or not?.. If he didn't forget..Then everything was over. "'M Hunting grounds are pretty close. Dear, and bear. 'Bear's 'm favorite..." I liked bears too, but not to eat... Berwald was dressed thick, in a fur coat, which was probably bear pelts, and thick leather boots, lined with fur. He reminded me of a fur trapper; I used to be one too...and I had lived in America's house too..

"Now. Ya see those dear o'er 'ere. Tha's dinner." He pointed to several dear, maybe three, with enough meat packed, to feed the family for a several weeks. "M' wife Tino, gonna make roast venison. Delicious stuff." He said, and he aimed the gun, motioning for me to do the same.. We circled around the deer for some time, until Berwald pulled the metal trigger, releasing a sound that blew him back, and I did the same, but I stood my ground. "Got 'em." I muttered, trying to keep my active mind off of Alfred..Wind blew through my hair, and I sighed, batting the feeling away.

Grabbing the deer, and slinging it over his back, Berwald threw me one, and I easily caught it, and slung it over my shoulder, carrying several. "Hej.. Um.." Berwald paused, and my eyes locked onto his, curiously. "Um...Well.. If you go near Tino or 'ny of us...I'll.." I sighed, already understanding his words, and I nodded. "I won't hurt you guys. I just look scary." I explained, somewhat embarrassed at Berwald's claims. "Sorry...Sometimes people think the same thing too." He muttered under his breath, and we averted each other's gaze until we arrived at the cabin, opening the wooden slab that acted as a door, as deer blood dripped down my boots...

Then, I saw Alfred, seeming to be well, with no injuries, laughing and making conversation with the spiky haired blonde..

What about me?


	11. Chapter 11

**So... I think, as most of you viewers have noticed, I'm into really, really dark stuff... ._. It might.. bleach into my writing.. Haha.. Also, there might be a quality difference, between Unglaubliche Gnade and this fanfiction, because I use my phone for this one, because of the rare times I do have access to the computer.. And I use the computer for 'Unglaubliche Gnade.' I apologize for this. Right. Also, tell me if my writing gets too dark, because it's a bad habit of mine ._. **

**Onwards! ~Gauntz and Eflwyn~**

* * *

I awoke from the bed, my eyes probing around the room.. I remembered someone's large, bulky warmth surrounding me... "Russia." Then, I remembered what had happened on the ski lift.. His eyes, filled with an animalistic desire, his arms barring me down, rendering me helpless, useless.. Then his fingers, stroking sensitive skin, as I secretly begged for more..

And I had kicked him away before he could do anything else... And nearly killed the man... If I had injured him in any way.. What if he broke his back? Many possible scenarios fled through my mind, before I heard a knock at the door. "Hei! I'm comin' in okej?" Said a small, blonde man, with a cross wrapped around his neck. He came towards my bed, beside me, as I stood up, and he smiled, his brown eyes seeming to sparkle with light. "I'm Tino, my husband's Berwalds, but I call him Sweden.. And So I'm Finland.. Yeah.." He shifted his slippered feet around awkwardly, before pulling my arm up, pulling me into the kitchen/dining room, furnished, rustically matching the rest of the cabin, and I settled into one of the chairs, looking at the men busy in the kitchen; It seemed someone was quite the avid hunter..There were different, random assortments of skins, preserved animals, and horns hanging on the wooden walls. Even a lion's head...I looked away from the odd sight, choosing to focus on the bustling kitchen. A spiky haired man approached me, sitting down in the seat beside me. "Hiya. Now.. What happened between you an' your buddy? We found ya with your pants off an' underwear an'.." "Mathias." A cold voice warned, and another blonde man came behind the man, known as Mathias, his fingers, twisting the skin underneath, and Mathias yelped in pain. "Okay, okay, Nor.. Oh right. This is Lucas, that's Emil." Mathias pointed to a child carrying around a taxidermised.. Puffin. "You met Tino, and Berwald's out hunting with your friend." I swallowed. My 'friend' Ivan. At least, he was gone for awhile. I had to do some thinking.

Mathias and I made some small bits and pieces of conversation, as Tino and Lukas bustled around the kitchen, cleaning every minute or so, while roasting potatoes, and preparing many other Christmastime delicacies. Scents of spices filled the air, relaxing me for a moment, as I took in the scent..

Then, in the corner of my eye, I saw Ivan, with a shotgun, and several deer on his back.. And a broken right arm. I looked away, avoiding his gaze, those piercing, violet eyes. The tall man, probably Berwald walked toward Tino with bloodied hands, and tossed him the carcass, which Tino, surprisingly, easily lifted, throwing it onto the table. Ivan did the same. "Now, 'M G'n go clean up, 'an why don' you guys settle down? We'd love a couple of guests for Christmas." Berwald said, as he headed toward the bathroom upstairs.

Ivan sat beside me, taking off the coat and hanging it on the chair, and his eyes met mine.. They were scrunched up, in focus, as I tried to read him, and he tried to read me. It was a staring contest between us two, and unluckily, I blinked, and he won. "It seems Alfred and I need some rest.. We're very sorry.. We'll leave as soon as we wake." Ivan said, and grabbed my arm, forcefully dragging me into the guestroom, and he locked the door behind us. I honestly hoped that the walls were soundproof.

His eyes glinted dangerously, and I slowly backed up towards the corner, as he closed around me, like a pack of wolves, surrounding its prey.. But he couldnt hurt me; He only had one arm to use against me, after all, and that gave me an edge. "What do you want...?" I manage to breath, as one of his arms pinned me down, making me stick to the wall, like a painting. "Did you ever know what I wanted? Have you ever known?" Know what? What was there to know?! "What do you mean?!" I yelled back, looking rebelliously into his eyes, as it seemed to flicker with a kindled rage, and he easily grabbed my shoulder, pushing me, roughly into the ground, and I saw Ivan tower over me, his shoulders broad, and he stripped himself of his shirt, revealing the warm, bare chest, covered slightly in small, dark hairs. I gasped at the sight, trying to slide away from him, but he wouldn't allow me to do so, as he fell on top of me nuzzling against my neck, as I desperately tried to fight him off, failing. "Stop it...Stop.. Just tell me what you want already!" I begged desperately, squirming around as he attempted to now devour my neck, biting the delicate skin, swirling his tongue around..He apparently wasn't listening. "Shit... Tastes so good.." I heard him pur, slightly muffled by the skin he bit, over and over again.

"Alfred.." Ivan whispered into my ear, nipping at the tip. "Come on.. You know what I want.." He stopped licking at my neck, and hovered above me, his eyes drowned with something else.. This wasn't the real Russia, was it? It couldn't be...He was only that friend; The friend that no one else would befriend, the pity friend.. It was my fault; I dragged myself into this pit. It was all my fault.

"I want you." Ivan breathed, his eyes, impaling my heart, and his gaze, pinning me onto the ground. "I want you. I want you. I want you." He chanted, as his fists started to pummel into my chest, beating me lightly, like a drum. "You want me?" My lips trembled at the thought, as I grabbed his fists. "Why can't you just give me it? It's so, so very easy." I saw him grind his teeth together, as he licked his lips, baring his teeth like fangs. "Stop..stop it.. what are you doing?! You're.. You're... I don't want.." Words spilled off of my tongue like water. "You don't want it...You don't.. You'll never, huh?" Russia backed away, and sat on me, rendering me immobile. "Did you ever consider anything, Alfred?.." I saw a small tear on his face; But.. Russia didn't cry, he can't cry, it's not possible. I had a hazy clue of what was happening..I think, maybe.. Just maybe; He might have some kind of attraction towards me. Well, maybe a lot.. He had been touching me, caressing me, holding me tight, in those warm hands.. And he'd been gripping my shoulders, with his bone crushing strength... But what made me the most confused was that somewhere, deep, deep down.. I asked for more.

"I'm.." Russia coughed, as I saw him choke up, and he wiped another tear away. "We're. Going home. Or the mall. Or whatever." Ivan looked away, lifting himself off of me, and I stood there, shocked and dazed.. Ivan.. Russia.. He liked me?! How? Why?.. "Get up. Let's go." Ivan commanded, quickly slipping on his shirt, and speeding out of the door. I followed behind him, and I saw Tino give me a small smile, and Berwald... Giving Russia a thumbs up? What the hell?

* * *

**Oh my... I think I've ruined the story line because I made Russia a pervert. BLAGH. I'm sorry ._. ... But what's the fun, if there isn't any conflict? .. .. Did I make Russia too.. Perverted? **

**Don't forget to review! **


	12. Chapter 12

**... It's chapter twelve... I'm going to work extra hard on this one! (Bwhahahahahha!)...Yup... Chapters on Unglaubliche Gnade might come out late, since I've been studying on WWII a bunch for it.. And I hardly have access to the laptop. ._. **

**Don't forget to review/favorite/follow/subscribe and all that goodness! **

**~Gauntz and Eflwyn~**

* * *

I turned around, grabbing Alfred forcefully, pulling him out of the house, as we walked through the snow. Berwald, had given me a thumbs up, which lighted my day up.. A little. But, it was I who was ruining everything, all my actions were ruining... Everything. At least, I probably made a friend; But that was just short lived..We'd probably never see each other again. In silence, I dragged his delicate arms down the slope, and in more silence..we reached the car. "I can't drive this time." I announced monotonously, climbing into the passenger seat onto the side. "So...let's uh..go the mall, head home, and...yeah." He was becoming more awkward by the second, and I knew, that Afred knew something...What made everything odder, was that..He didn't react as violently as most. Lithuania, would surely run away...But then again, he'd always come back for more... I licked my lips at the thought of Alfred doing the same.. but more than that. Even more than really necessary..

The thought made me turn red, and I looked away from his blue eyes, childishly unable to bear with myself, in fear.. that.. It'd happen again. It can't. It shouldn't. It won't.. But.. It Will... I shifted my legs around uncomfortably, crossing them, while the car's engine started to buzz, and we made our way down the road again. It was still snowing, and I wondered what we'd get at the mall; After an hour or so of driving, past trees, then buildings, then finally, the downtown area, we found the mall's parking lot, and quickly found a space, luckily near the front. I tightened the scarf around me in restraint, like a noose, as I opened the car, and in more silence we walked into the mall, the metal doors easily sliding open, and ushering us into the warmth of the building. Then, Alfred looked at me again, handing me a lined piece of yellow paper. "Umm..would you like to split up? It'd save us time." Alfred looked away again, handing me the list, as our fingers brushed and I fought the urge to grab them, and drag them with me. "Yeah." I breathed, and I was becoming.. extremely awkward.. "I'll get it, what about you?" I asked. We began to continue most of our conversations, looking away, avoiding any crucial eye contact needed to cause a sense of socialization. "I've got the technical things..lights and things like that... Well I'll see you then." America left without letting me answer, and I sighed again, looking on the yellow list. "Teddy Bears, Stuffed Animals, Wrapping Paper, Toys, Books..the common assortment of christmas-associated items.." Then, at the bottom, an asterix:

*Anything else you'd like :)

I thought it was cute that Alfred would do that...he must've made the list before I had jumped on him.. and attacked him. I guess, he wasn't as freaked out as before... Or, maybe England made it. It was probably England... But Anything else I'd like?... My thoughts turned sinister, and, in my shocked state, my foot made its way towards an excessively large toy shop, filled with moving trains, large, stuffed bears, and airplanes flying in circles... It reminded me, of America's childhood. He was, after all, historically younger than me. I hummed slightly, as children parted out of my way, with a look of horror on their faces that I've become all-too accustomed to, and I made my way towards the aisle, filled with stuffed bears, picking one that resembled a polar bear.. It's fur was soft and plush.. and warm, like America, as I wrapped around me tight, not caring if people were staring oddly at me, an adult, hugging a bear like a child.. It had a small, white scarf around its neck, like me, and the thought of giving America the bear made me feel warm, and fluffy.. I tried to forget my actions, instead turning them into micro-plush filled bribes. I walked through the aisle, finding your standard wrapping paper, some gold, some prints of christmas trees, gifts and such, then I grabbed several random boxes of games, maybe Monopoly, A wooden chess set, and my arms were full, when I had reached the counter. "Got kids?" The man asked, in a small voice, under glasses. He looked extremely similar to Alfred... "Not.. exactly." I replied, and I quickly bought the items, stored now safely in plastic bags, and the man waved goodbye; It seemed he didn't have much business, in bulk, anyways. "Mmm.. then anything else I'd like.." I mused leaping from store to store, finding small bits and bobs, having them wrapped up in wrapping paper, and finally.. I laid my eyes, on the oddest store. It didn't even have a name. It just said: Store. It didn't have the usual walk-in entrance, but a black curtained doorway, and I curiously opened the curtains up, revealing a dark space.. with god knows what. Collars, chains...spiky 'things..' leather..everywhere.. My mind could wander no more, when a blonde man with long hair, dressed only in jeans and a black t-shirt, with the words, "Love" in scratchy letters on it.. His blue eyes seemed to sparkle with a shining light, illuminating the dark space. "Welcome, to Francis's love shack...well Ludwig's too..now is zhere anything you're looking for?" He had a thick french accent, and I looked around again, taking in the intoxicating leather scent... "Not really.. but do you have anything.." I searched my mind, licking my lips lasciviously.. "Anything warm?" I asked, trying to avoid wandering my eyes to a corner loaded with...metal.. things... "Warm." I completed the statement, and I saw a blonde eyebrow stick upwards in confusion, then a sigh. "I have fur, if you'd like." He had an edge of disappoint at the edge of his voice, leading me to an aisle filled with fur... everything... I turned red, again... how does this shop even make business?! I thought, looking at the assortment of...things. "We have fur undergarments, collars, undergarments, costumes.." I held up a hand, as if to say 'stop it.' and he let his explanation stop. Hurriedly, I changed the subject. "So.. Ludwig, Germany, he owns this place too?" I asked, wondering how the gentle man I had met at the bar, would.. own a place like this. "Well, he won't admit it, but I just work here.. Ludwig likes this stuff. I wouldn't say I'd hate it, of course." He winked at me, and I grinned in response, and astonishingly, he smiled. Most people would be afraid, but it would seem, that only scary, creepy men came in this place...He'd probably be desensitized to it then, by now.

"Um... whatever you'd suggest.." I mumbled, clutching the stuffed bear I had bought at the toy shop close. "Ah.. I just know what you'll need zhen!" Francis chimed, going into a back room, and I followed, watching him dig through...more items, and he pulled out a furry rug, with a red ribbon, bunching it together. It was dark fur, like a Grizzly Bear's, with small flecks of light fur poking out ever so often.. "What do you think of zis?" He asked, holding the fur out, and I gingerly placed my hand over the fur, feeling the contours of the soft hair, and I nodded yes. "Great...and we should get zis... and zis.. and.." I think I had spent a majority of my time there, by the time I had navigated my way out, and I had a huge stack of black boxes, labeled only 'Store.' on them...I gulped, hoping Alfred wouldn't see them..

We had met in the food court, and Alfred seemed to lose his awkwardness, thankfully, by then, but, a veil of doubt seemed to hover over him, endlessly. Alfred and I settled into small, metal chairs, and left the bags at our side, as he leaned back, arching his back, stretching his arms, and yawning like a cat. "So what'd ya get?" I heard him ask, while looking towards the many boxes I had been hauling around. "Oh you know, whatever was on the list... and some." I answered quickly, hiding the black boxes underneath in a blind spot where Alfred couldn't see. "What did you get?" I quickly changed the topic from me to him. "Ah, you know. Whatever was on the list." He mocked me, his voice low, trying to imitate mine, and I sighed. Maybe, he was trying to forget what happened, for the sake of our friendship. Or my sanity. Or maybe the other way around...

"Mmm... wanna eat before we set off?" I asked, and he quickly responded with a "Sure, dude." We sat, while he ate burgers and fries, and I drank coffee, while sneaking my hands towards his fries, and it seemed, he didn't mind... I looked toward the black boxes again, and back to America.

What was I going to do... There was a 'no return' policy at the shop, after all...

* * *

**Well.. Oh my god. ._. Just to make it clear, France is not a pervert. He just needs love.**

**Anyways... SO MUCH PLANNED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER MWAHAHAHAHA!**

**... Dont' forget to review guys!...**

**I love reviews.**


	13. Chapter 13

**ACH. I am sorry.. Slow updates and all; I blame it on me.. ^^; For reasons. And leather. ._.**

**I'VE BEEN INSPIRED! (All jokes aside; Sorry. :( )**

* * *

The christmas lights were easy to spot, in a small, hardware store, already decked in many flashing LEDs, blinding my eyes somewhat, as I entered the store which resembled the warehouse in which its products were shipped from. "Lights.." I decided, as my pupils dilated in utter delight, to buy the most colorful; And expensive, wire of lights, sparkling in its multicored glass like a rainbow that had take painted it's colors doubly, brighter and thicker. We had already had a tree, and even though I zealously insisted to buy a new one, England would always reply with a stately, "No.", in his quintessential british accent. Hell, I'm getting a tree anyways; A small one. For my room; See how he likes that, I thought rebelliously, carrying the box of lights, and then, began digging through a pile labeled clearance, located in the far back of the store, that seemed to constantly smell like wood chips; As if someone was making furniture... After I had a handful of obviously useless, yet shiny objects, I the raccoon placed my generous pile onto the counter, at first, attempting not to look the man in the eye.. Then as our hands met, so did our eyes, and there I saw, a familiar, spiky haired blond, with a mysterious gleam in his blue eyes. "Mathias? What the..Dude. You work here?" I stepped back, astonished, as he began to bag my items. "Yeah? I do. We make stuff. Custom-made furniture. All of us..." He seemed confused at my statement, and it struck me; Log cabins? Furniture? How stereotypically.. Nordic. "Family business?" I asked, making small bits and pieces of conversations as Mathias handed my the plastic bag. "Yup. Berwald does the expenses, Tino does a lot of manual labor; Needs to rest..We do our things." Mathias seemed, with his tone, a tad bit more mature, when surrounded by the man, he had nicknamed 'Norge..' Or was it Nor? Maybe it was to irritate Lukas, though even I wouldn't find any satisfaction from annoying a clean shaven face; Lukas didn't react in a way I'd want. Violently, it seemed to suggest. Maybe Mathias likes the way he's treated..

Somehow the quick comparison of the bickering couple seemed to linger within the confines of my relationship. Somehow... Maybe I didn't mind his violent outbursts; That it was his character, and that somehow... I could deal and cope; Like Mathias and Lukas. Or, in this case, Lukas with Mathias..

I could cope. I had to cope; For Ivan's sake. And my safety.

"Merry five days until Christmas." Mathias cheered, as I walked out of the door, my wallet somewhat lighter than it had been before, and I made my way to the foodcourt. we had met, and sat mostly in silent, but what had peaked my interests were the black boxes, simply labeled 'Store' that Russia seemed to awkwardly hide underneath the table, his pale cheeks, flushing red at every glance toward the many boxes.. So, I had decided to take a small peak. However, the simple task was in actuality, daunting; Whatever was in those boxes, Russia was hiding..And he wouldn't let my hands or eyes crawl underneath the box's covers, walking away from me, as we went towards the car, and Ivan seemed to almost run, the boxes, wanting to topple over. Luckily, we had piled everything into the car, and I twisted the key, letting the engine heat for a few moments while the cold winter air seemed to leech through the closed windows. My bare fingers seemed to tremble uncomfortably in the cold, so I decided to turn on the heat, while slowly turning the plastic knob, letting out a warm gush of air. I heard Russia give a small, happy sigh, and I leaned back, letting the many worries fly out of my mind before gently pushing down the gas. Still, there was a thick veil of silence; And now since Ivan was hiding.. Something, it made the silence worse, than it had been before. Attempting to break the barrier, I gave a slight cough as to hint my existence, and Ivan looked up. His violet eyes seemed tired, jaded, lost.. And shy. Incredibly shy. Like a coy child whose eyes would somewhat water either in joy or terror at the most smallest of glances. "Da?" He answered monotonously. "Are you sure you'd like to go? You should stay for Christmas." I suggested, my voice rather shaky, still on the edge from the other man's actions. "After I.." I knew what he was going to say, and I quickly intercepted him. "I know. Look.. I.." I wanted to bury my red face in my arms at the moment, except we'd die in a car accident if we did. Maybe that'd be a better alternative. "I don't even know why the hell I'm talking to you, who groped me. I don't know.." My tongue was tied, giving the Russian a moment of voice, in which he oportunistically took. "Did you like it or not?" His violet eyes seemed to pierce mine, as I tried to keep my eyes on the road, instead of wandering towards his, giving the answer he so desired; But that was my body. It wasn't me, was it?

"Yes?" His eyebrow perked up like a dog's ears, then they drooped down, when I said, "No." "Tell me. Tell me it now. What do you think?" His knuckles were bared, his fingers red and raw as his free hand that wasn't broken, gripped at the sides of the car in an act if extreme restraint, which sent another shiver down my spine. "I-.." My voice broke for a moment, and I finally gave way to true instinct, letting my throat shout and yell, anger overtaking me for a split second. "I don't know! How the fuck should I know?! My body.. I-I.." I was lost for words again, and I saw the man smirk, the shy, innocent man I had known seemed to disappear before my eyes. "Your.. Body?" A snake-like tongue flicked through his lips, as he seemed to chuckle at my anger.. As if our roles switched; I was now acting like a coy, shy child, and Russia, cold and jeering; His words forcing me to do his bidding. "Shut up." I pressed on the gas of the car, adding more pressure as trees went past us, and my stomach lurched forward; Thankfully there were hardly any cars on the icy road, covered in salt as so to melt it, but it seemed to pile more noises, that I could hardly tolerate. Crunch. Crunch, Crunch. Tap. Tap. Ivan's impatient fingers, waiting for a reply. A tire's screech, and I noticed my hands were trembling on the wheel, as my feet were squashed firmly onto the breaks, and we were parked on the side of the road. I looked towards his widened violet eyes, as his lips curled in a lascivious smile. My feet seemed to up, and my arms unlocked the door, as I ran away from the car and the road, up the snowy hill, hardly equipped to roll around; But I did. The cold ice met my face, then m lips as I rolled around, the snow, generously coating my body, making me shiver, relieving me of that icy, creeping feeling that Russia had given to my body, that I had so unwillingly taken. But I had taken it.

In the corner of my eye, I saw Russia, his arm now free of a cast, and he was coming near me; Like a frightened deer, I plunged into a soft blanket if snow, enveloping my body in icy warmth... But Ivan was coming nearer.. And nearer. His boots seemed to walk easily through the snow, and soon he stood in front of me, looking downwards as I had curled myself in a small ball of warmth. "Get up. I'm... sorry I made you mad. I'll just go home, okay? W... We can all look past this. You don't.. I.." His face seemed to switch back from cold to warm, embarrased to confident; Ivan's personality jumped from square to square, his ambiguity, unchallenged. I looked again into those eyes, sparkling with the hint of a tear; Russia can't cry.. He can't.. It's not. Possible.

I lifted my arm, as Russia knelt beside me, the sight seeming odd to any rare passerby, and I brushed past a tear, my fingers curling across long, soft eyelashes. The droplet traveled down my finger, then my arm, leaving a small river of tears. Ivan looked at me, and I pulled back the gesture seeming to alarm myself; A gesture to a person I surely knew I did not feel the same affections that he did... He gripped my arm, flinching at the pain of using something broken, and I dared not to pull back, as it would hurt him.. Yet he had hurt me. Bruised me... Touched me; In those places. And I wanted to exact my revenge with the same actions.

I suddenly pulled back, and Russia flinched, yet did not move, somehow enduring as another satisfying tear trailed down and I licked my lips, pulling the man down beside me in the snow.. Ivan seemed surprised, but he complied, lying down awkwardly next to me. "Tell me." I climbed on top of him, my weight attempting to hold the man down.. "Tell me. Why do you like me? Why.. Why don't you.. Don't you have.." I dug through my mind, trying to find someone Russia Knew; Lithuania. "Lithiania." I breathed, the cold air, hovering around me in a thick cloud. "I don't love Lithuania." Ivan replied, his voice attempting to convince me this was fact and not opinion. I was tired of the constant grabbing, his advances.. I wanted only the truth. What killed me was the... Metaphorical 'black box,' that Russia seemed to hide away in his heart. I wanted him to open up, tell me everything.. I laughed audibly at the thought, much to Ivan's discomfort. I let my arms twist the broken arm to much of my twisted delight, and then and there I had realised the true delight of heroism; Not only protecting, but revenge, was an ecstasy I could achieve in an act of violence... It's right for a hero to get revenge; Especially against a 'bad guy.' It was due to an estranged act of fear, that it seemed compulsive for me to inflict pain upon the other.. I had feared him.. And he had seemed to yield, but deep down I truly knew he could use his arms, and subdue me, easily then I could ever do to him. "Get it straight." I jerked his arm upwards and he gave a small yelp of pain, feeding my now growing ego. "Do you love me?" I demanded, twisting more, yet he did not say a word. "Say it." I jerked his arm again, and it seemed my torture caused an annoyance, not a pain to Ivan, which made me feel subtly insignificant, and I collapsed onto his chest, weakly punmeling into them. "Come on.. say it.." I heard a small, tired sigh, and I looked into his eyes, waiting for an answer.. A word. Something.. But I wasn't the one who was in love; I only needed to confirm his affections..To finally know that he wasn't merely fooling around, driving me insane, To the edge. "Do you love me?" His eyes looked into mine, cool, confident, yet there was something that should never be there; Fear. "I-I.. I don't know.. I.. When you touched me.." What was I saying?! "When I touched you? Why.. You.. You thought.. Thought it was disgusting..I'm Sorry.." He closed his eyes, blinking, then, looked into mine. "I'm.. I'll leave. You can never see me again then.." "No." I breathed, my chest heaving on his. "No.. Look.. I.." His arms began to curl around my back, pulling me into a warm embrace, against his chest. His lips brushed past my ear, and I saw his cheeks slightly turn red, as he whispered, slowly and steadily in my ear.. "Alfred.. I love you. A lot." My temperature rose at the mere words, not understanding the consequences of my acts, and I didn't dare fight against the arms locked around me.

* * *

**Yeah.. .-. Confession too soon? **

**Anyways.. Sorry.. For late updates.. .-. **

**I went on a leather shopping spree. It.. was.. Awesome..**

**Don't forget to Review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hiya~ I won't be updating for several days because I'm going camping.. Yay. .-. Sorry about that. **

**Anyways, if anyone was wondering; I do RPs. Literate Novella-Style RP. ^^; So yeah... inbox me if you're up. .-. ... **

**Gee. That was extraneous. -_-**

**~Gauntz and Eflwyn~ **

* * *

I could almost feel my lips trembling, as the words escaped out of my mouth, and my eyes widened in fear, and salty tears began to burn down my cheeks. He didn't want me to leave.. He didn't? But what did he want?.. My arms burned with pain, and It surprised me that Alfred was... Violent. There was a grin, like my own, painted across his face; Yet his eyes informed me of every move he had taken; I knew he was afraid of me. It was only in dominance he could surely assert himself as unvulnerable, unafraid. That was only a sliver of his ego, that was speaking.. A very small sliver. Yet, I could only, quickly grow to love this dark side, something never revealed to anyone; Even himself.. Only me. My arms locked around Alfred, pulling him down toward my chest, my hands, forcing him to nuzzle me; The feeling was like the intense burst of emotions, that I had finally extinguished, with a few mere whispers.. Finally, I did it. Yet, I knew there were unforseen consequences to every word and utterance. There had to be.

"Alfred." I still held him close, trying to imprint the memory of his warmth in my arms, my body.. Everywhere. I wanted to say those forbidden words again, and again into his ear.. Over and over.. "I love you.." I could only slightly chuckle at the pink that seemed to quickly spread over his face, and I parted my lips, while slowly bending my neck so my lips could face his, just about to envelope them, as I saw a frightened look flitter over his expression, which made me hold him tighter, managing to squeeze a small squeak from his throat, and he looked into my eyes, his blue, seeming to analyze mine.

"I.. I.. Stop saying that.." He mumbled, burying his face into my chest, and as we stood in the snow, our heat grew. "Stop saying what?" I asked, with a devilish grin, while I made his head tilt to the side, as to reveal his face, which trembled at the sight of my eyes.. "What? I love you. I love you. I-.." I was suddenly cut off, and his blue orbs stared at mine, and he bit back his lip. "Stop it. Don't. I can't..I don't.." A lump seemed to form in my throat, as I awaited his answer. "I don't lo-.. Like you. I-I'm sorry.." He quickly looked away, and my jaw dropped at the thought.. He didn't like me. No, he didn't love me.. He doesn't he doesn't.. Love me.. I thought, yet I still wanted to pursue him, to conquer him. "Don't say that." I muttered gravely, and my lips brushed over his, taking in the luscious taste, and I could feel small signs of struggle from his arms, which drove me to hold him tighter.. "Don't..say.. You don't love me.." I whispered, as our lips began to meet, and my tongue lightly began to brush over Alfred's attempting to coax them apart; Yet they wouldn't budge, and his jaws were shut tight. "Open them." I demanded, and he simply nodded no, terror, obviously painted across his face, which made me grimace somewhat; I didn't want him to be afraid of me; Not like everyone else, just because I seem scary.. But I'll do no harm.. Really! I definitely assure that..

"Open them." I asked patiently again, my lips tryibg to grip his jaw open, failing, and I decided to try my luck, as I flipped Anerica over, sitting on his legs while holding his arms down, barring him.. Then my fingers trailed over his face, his lips, slipping inside, as he attempted to fight, and I soon managed to open his jaw just enough, while I bent down, inserting my tongue, caressing his teeth, fiding every nook and cranny before pursuing his tongue; To which he could only give a muffled gasp, as small beads of saliva flowed down his mouth. The snow was soft and fresh, and I could feel the warmth of his hands underneath mine, before my tongue slowly curled around his, embracing it. "Nn..mf.." Alfred muffled, as I pressed my lips closer to his, and his tongue, reluctantly began to dance around mine, a strange heat, seeming to close around us..

Our lock of lips seemed to be an eternity, before Alfred drew back, his chest heaving against my legs, gasping for breath. Then, his eyes turned toward mine in a silent contract. For awhile, we stood staring, I on top of him, and him, under me... "Tell me that you love me." I demanded, pinning his arms down, narrowing my eyes toward his, but he simply nodded no; Maybe it was the fact I had thrown around the word 'love' so casually.."Then.. If you don't.. Like me, Then what should I do? What...?" I was becoming desperate, literally begging him.. "I-I don't know.. How.. Should I know?! I don't hate you, I don't love you, I don't even know what love feels like!.." Alfred shouted, as his knuckles clenched against the snow, slightly burying his hands. "You.. Don't know?.." I paused, attempting to fully absorb the situation.

"Yeah, how the hell should I know?!" He yelled, and I began to muse for a second, an odd thought forming in my skull.. "Let's test it out. Let's test if its love or not." I proclaimed, beginning to step up, trying to balance my legs, as I walked toward the car, beckoning Alfred to follow. "What do you mean, 'Test It Out?' How?.." He seemed more curious than horrified now. "Easy." I climbed into the passenger seat, rubbing my hands together anxiously. "We date each other until Christmas comes. If you 'like' me at the end, you'll know. If you don't.." I paused again, letting the words sink in. "I'll go away." I licked my lips, silently chuckling to myself; Surely, five days to make the American fall in love with me, surely a.. Feasible task, right?

Sure, when we kissed, Alfred fought back.. Yet.. he accepted it, did not bite my tongue.. Maybe he was only alarmed at the sudden impulse I had contracted..

Surely he wasn't scared was he?

Surely..

* * *

**Don't Forget to Review~ **

**~Gauntz and Eflwyn~**


	15. Chapter 15

**Ah. Back from camping... Blah.**

**.-. Finally chapter 15.. :3 I have so much plans :D..**

* * *

Ivan's behavior seemed to trouble my observative state immensely. First, he was agressive, the next, calm, gentle and patient; It troubled me the most, when he was calm; There had to be something that lied behind that artificial smile, and the warmth that was wrapped around him. Something. We had driven down the road in relative silence, and I only answered his proposal with the mere nod of my head; It seemed awkward, finally acknowledging one of your friends had... liked you, in that way, and the proposal was overly ironic; It had seemed like something that had come from a cheesy romantic movie. Maybe Ivan liked those kind of movies; And confused himself.

The snow capped hills and trees sped past the car, and in a few more hours of silence we had finally reached home. Still, there was a thick veil of silence surrounding us, but at least England wasn't here; He'd surely question our awkwardity. "I can move the boxes." Ivan said monotonously, glancing toward the black boxes in the trunk, simply labeled, 'Store'. So, he was hiding something.. My eyes glided over toward the boxes, eagerly licking my lips for the surprise that was held within; What was it? Candy? Icecream.. Mm.. Icecream.. Or burgers..

"I'll get the boxes, da?" Ivan had interrupted my thoughts, making his way towards the boxes. "You should..." He paused awkwardly, while carrying a multitude of boxes. "Rest, before you sort through the stuff da?" I had entered the house, silently thanking him, for I was in no mood for any technicalities involving Christmastime... I had to seriously think, for awhile.. Ivan had been my friend; Only my friend, and I had yet to consider him more... But.. Something at the bottom of my stomach tugged incessantly, constantly alerting me, near his presence. His fingers, which has forcibly grabbed me, leaving a still burning bruise seemed to be seared onto my very flesh. I had ascended up the stairs, quickly walking into my room, locking the door, and I landed on my bed, taking in the familiar scent of pillows.. And it smelled like Russia, too...Swearing under my breath I quickly stripped down to my boxers, throwing the rest of the clothes lazily onto the ground, and buried myself under the sheets, shutting my eyes. My hands ran along my shoulder where a purple mark was noticeable, and the skin shivered every time my fingers brushed over the now sensitive area. They moved upwards toward my neck, where he had seemed to tower over me, feasting on the skin on my neck.. Then my lips, where Ivan forced his tongue through my thoroughly clamped jaws, and... I had reluctantly let him gain entrance. It made me shiver again, at the thought of his lips and tongue intruding mine again, exploring everywhere, everything..

I blinked at the strange thought... It was.. Absurd, to think this.. Way.. Certainly, absurd. I was obviously horrified at the thought of his lips, tongue, fingers, piercing violet eyes exploring every inch of my body; Yes, horrified, but the fact that seemed to drive my consciousness insane, was that I didn't mind.. Somewhat. Sure, I ought to be reluctant, but I could still remember every touch, every taste, everything.. And this willingness made me worry, even more than possible. His hands had only briefly brushed toward my nether regions, yet it lingered more than any place, than any bruises that covered my shoulders, and my fingers had stopped when they instictively seemed to reach there. "W-what am I.. Doing..?" I managed to mutter, my hands quickly pulling away from the spot... But.. No one would know, would they? Maybe if.. I 'took care of it,' THOSE feelings would disappear; Maybe it was just some carnal craving, desire which welled up, clogging an efficient think-tank.

Soon, I had assured myself that the action had no consequences, and painfully edged my hands downwards, rubbing through the thin cloth, without, at first, a thought in my head. Then, my arms shot upwards, as I lay face-first into the pillow, unable to become aroused, silently over-exaggerating sobbing, screaming. "Fuck." I breathed into the pillow, my voice slightly muffled by the fabric beneath, as I gripped at the sheets.

Maybe sleep was the answer, and I slowly but surely began to close my eyes, letting my breathing slow, and I slowly drifted off...

_The small room was filled with mirrors, with no doors, barring any possible chance of escape. The only other presence was someone all too familiar, wrapped in a thick coat, with a white scarf trailing behind him, coming towards me with a sadistic grin cracked upon his face. I looked down, noticing I was on my bed, the usual sheets and linens, but yet the atmosphere was wrong; Enshrouded within a dark veil stood the air around me, causing my lungs to seem to stop. His violet eyes seemed to make me freeze in place, pinning me down onto the bed, circling around like vultures and their near-dying prey. I was prey. I was powerless._

_I blinked again, noticing he began to push my arms down his arms quickly undressing me, leaving only my boxers, as the violet orbs began to already primitively probe my body, analyzing every part. There was a flush of red in my cheeks, even though I knew that Ivan had seen me naked; And half-naked, plenty of times; We had known each other for decades, yet there seemed to be a change of mood in his eyes; A mixture and coagulation of fear, lust, hate, need, anger..It all existed in that one stare. _

_"Please?" I heard him ask, begging at my legs, yet I couldn't utter a sound, only nodding through a thick jungle of red and heat, my arms pinned upward like a dead butterfly, only exposed for the crude enjoyment of sight. "Please." He said once again, this time, his arms were slowly sweeping across my bare chest, then my stomach, hands eagerly twirling around already erect buds, causing me to shiver. His eyes, seemed to do most of the touching, our gazes locked in an unbroken harmony, a sensation like electricity, seeming to vibrate throughout my body._

_"Can I touch here too?" Ivan looked away from my eyes, facing downwards, at a half-hearted arousal. This time, I didn't nod, instead, looking away shamefully toward the glass walls, reflecting my stare back to his, in an act of yielding. Closing my eyes, I heard a dull thump onto the ground, the ruffle of pants, a shirt, buttons ripped and popped away, and then the sound of cloth underneath rustling, a small sensation welling up in my gut, telling me to scream, yell, to move; To run. But I couldn't. My body chose to stay, to be further teased through the thin cloth, his palms rubbing against my most sensitive area, making me give small rasped pants. At first his rubbing was painfully slow, almost awkwardly circling, with an unchanging pace, until he was startled by a small moan, and my eyes flew open to find he was still over me, one of his hands palming me, the other holding my arm down, his eyes intent on capturing mine. "What do you want?" Ivan panted, stopping his rubbing, his large frame collapsing on top of mine, something hard rubbing against one of my thighs, and another shiver cascaded down my spine. "Tell me what you want.." His hips began to rub against mine, his thickness tented between striped cloth against mine, and I reluctantly gave another moan, my hips bucking forward the tension becoming extremely warm. I caught a smile, seeming to true to his usual artficial face, and his lips suddenly touched mine, my tongue strangely inviting its visitor, wrapping in an unharmonious beat, as my hips rocked forward again, and my throat gasping for breath._

_Everything was suddenly interrupted when I felt arms lift me into his lap, then wedging apart closed legs, revealing all its splendor. "Does it feel good?" He purred beginning to slowly stroke against my length, his fingers scissoring between it, straining, making me give out another cloud of breath, much to Ivan's satisfaction. "Why don't you show me your voice, da?" The voice whispered against my ear, giving me goosebumps, as each touch began to quicken, violently and agressively pumping making each heartbeat quick. "Take it off." I heard him command, his hands placed on top of mine, seeming lifeless, pulling down the thin cloth, revealing my true affections. "See...? Look at you." His taunts were becoming daring, menacing, yet I could only gasp and groan, my eyes turned toward my own, slightly distorted in the glass, observing his wandering eyes. "Look how hard you are." He squeezed me in his palm tightly between his fingers, the bare skin seeming to burst, and I managed to have a few words escape my lips. "Stop... Stop.." "I can't stop.. Just look at yourself for a moment." One of his hands grabbed my neck bending it upwards so I could look at myself; Panting, eyes glazed over, a pathetic sight. _

_"All you need to do is tell me what you want." He tightened his grasp as a small drop of essence seemed to leak. I saw him lick his lips, as his grip did not falter, and he purred once more into my ear. "If you don't tell me.. I'll just have to see for myself." Still, my gasps filled the air, Ivan not making a sound, as my hands shrugged slugishly to the side as his fingers began to trail upwards towards the tip. "Look at it.. It's trying to escape." One of his fingers began to stroke at the top, only small beads escaping the slit, as my legs began to struggle, and my voice took flight, while my teeth held back my lips. The feeling, this feeling started to become unearthed, the carnal desire which I so revelled in; It wanted to be released, to be freed. _

_"Shut up." I demanded, then I let out a gasp. I could feel something underneath me, moving, beginning to stir. "Can you feel it? Can you.." His hips began to circle around my opening, making me groan more, and his palms still held its grip, beginning to slick and the urge to yell my demands seemed to give way. "I can feel it okay? I can feel everything. Suck. Now." I panted, closing my eyes as another wave seemes to overtake my body, and I thrusted into his fingers as he gave a sinister laugh. "Really? Tell me; Where? Where.." "Dammit Ivan. You know where." Ivan suddenly stopped his stroking, releasing his grip, yet the tension still existed, unreleased keeping me in such a state. Giving a small, innocent pout he turned me around, my face facing his chest, then he pushed my back into the bed, forcing my legs once again, apart, as I gave a scream of pain, much to his satisfaction. His pink tongue outstretched, not touching but hovering centimeters away, making me painfully red, until I released yet another gasp, and his tongue began to explore. "You're very, very, wet, Alfred." He was muffled as his tongue began to circle around the top, constantly diving into the tiny slit, making small tears form at the base of my eyebrows. "Know what it means?" He pulled back, his eyes intent on mine. "It means I can put it in." He pulled down his own cloth revealing an already thick, straining arousal of his own, and it terrified me at the mere thought of receiving._

_"Ngh." I flinched in reaction, my weak legs slightly sliding away and he pulled me back, as I fought, then his lips wrapped around my length, slowly dragging them, making me give a guttural cry of pleasure. His tongue moved along with his lips, gently nipping, and I gave another yell, kicking into the air. "Unh.. Nn.. Aa.." Moans escaped my lips as he grinned again, beginning to suck at the base as his fingers fondled the underside, and more of the white liquid began to pour along with salty glazed tears. "Are you hard? It's pouring.. Even I can feel it. Dripping." He sucked faster, my fingers gripping against the sweat covered sheets, the wetness and warmth that was his mouth. "Ah.. Nn.." More began to pour with every groan, becoming louder as time progressed, and he engulfed me whole bobbing his head as I gripped his hair. "Ungh.." Ivan let out a low groan, as his fingers once again wrapped around my length, now wet with essence and his saliva, and my thighs were fully spread. The heat was unbearable, as I squirmed around, begging with every breath, and he gave another laugh, and began to lick at his fingers, the tongue twirling around, as I gave another unintelligible word away. "No. No. No." I chanted and he only grinned, the crack spreading across his face, as he shoved two fingers inside my mouth, treachourously accepting them, cradling them with my tongue. "Now that they're nice and wet.." He began to trail the wet fingers downward, first rubbing at my tip, now shaking from sensitivity, then, coaxing apart my opening, making my legs fidget in discomfort. _

_"I want to come." He merely shook his head, driving my legs even more apart, his fingers thumbing at the tip, making me scream again. My lips were driven apart, my throat, was rasping and panting against the pillow, biting at the cloth, as my hips began to swing. His other fingers inserted themselves into the now wet gap, quickly removing them, then inserting them as to loosen the tight skin, making a peculiar noise. "Let go, Lemme go!" I yelled kicking into the air, nearly missing his face, as I screamed and groaned all the profanity which had existed in the English language. "Nyet." His fingers kept sliding in and out, going deeper with each thrust seeming to target only one spot, that made my toes endlessly curl. "Ivan.. Ivan.. Russia.." I called out his name in a desperate attempt to beg, to have him stop, yet he persisted. Without another word, he moved his fingers out, slick and wet and forcefully pushed himself into my opening, the pain seeming to sear into my very being, as I unwillingly stretched to accomodate his size, screaming, trying to move his arms away, the feeling already spilling, pouring, giving rasped breaths, and I felt the grip loosen, as I screamed, the pain too real, the pleasure, too much._

I felt my arms being shook, then a stinging sensation in my cheek, forcing my eyes to be exposed to the sensitive light of my bedroom. Saliva dribbled down my mouth, and my legs felt half paralyzed, as a familiar face stood over me, wrapped in his usual white scarf. His chest heaved as those violet eyes stood over me, worried, his bare arms shaking, and I moved my head around, confused; Until I noticed that under the sheets pulsed a strange unfamiliar heat.. Luckily, Ivan didn't notice, and I moved my legs, awkwardly crossing them. "What happened?" Russia panted, carefully examining me with his eyes. "You were calling my name and screaming and uh.." He scratched his head nervously, looking at the door to my bedroom, whose hinges were now broken. "I kind of.. Broke your door." I saw a slight pink creep on his face, which made me laugh, ignoring my current situation, and a look of confusion swept over his face. "What happened? Tell me everything, I want to know." My eyes traveled downwards, finding a bundle of roses near my feet, romantically draped across the bed, reminding me, somewhat, of France. "Nothing. Just a bad dream." I dismissed, trying to sound as monotonous as Ivan often did. Yeah right, a bad dream.. It was a horrible dream; A terrible dream; And the most awful of the bunch, a wet dream. Involving Ivan.

"Are you sure?" He gripped my arm, and pulled away the sheets, revealing my crossed legs, and his jaw dropped as I looked away in pure shame. "Um. Wh- I. Um. Ah. Sorry. Uh. Got you roses this morning, yeah." Ivan looked downwards, his words stuttering, and I pulled the sheets up, burying myself shamefully under them. "Go away." I moaned, and I heard a deep, rough sigh. "It's okay. I understand."

Like hell he did. What did he know? Even I myself was unsure, the dream was probably just.. Just...

A figment of my imagination.

An unconceivably horrid dogma.

* * *

._. I wrote more lemon than the actual storyline..

Sorry. ._. I just felt like writing lemon.. A lot of it. Extraneously.

Don't forget to review/favorite/follow/subscribe and all that goodness!

~Gauntz and Eflwyn~


	16. Chapter 16

**So... I've had several ideas for a GreecexTurkey. ._.**

**I was just wondering, what would you guys think? Anyways. **

**Don't forget to Review/Favorite/Follow/ Etc.**

**~Gauntz and Eflwyn~**

* * *

The 'objects' from the mall, I had purchased, were now safely hidden inside the basement, full of already hidden treasures, from Alfred's past. It wouldn't be necessary to describe... The things, I bought obviously. I'd.. Never.. Intend to use any.. Anyways!

After Alfred had climbed into his room, and I had sorted my things, I found it hard, to ascend up those stairs, to join Alfred; Even though there were a few rooms, and a guest room. The couch was more comfortable, and I had easily passed time, closing my eyes, descending into a dreamless sleep.

Four days until Christmas, was the ammount of time left, when I awoke from my slumber. Slightly yawning, I remembered I left my coat in Alfred's room, and I only had my scarf by my side, which would make my next journey somewhat difficult. On our walk towards the bar, I had spotted, in the corner of my eye, filled with roses, a flower shop. As I opened the door, a gust of wind smacked me in the face, sending a slight shiver, before I began to shovel through snow, with my thick boots helping my venture. More snow flew around me, but I was used to the cold already, so frost wasn't a big of a deal to me.

In ten minutes or so, I had reached the small shop, pushing open the glass door, with a sign flipped, 'Open,' as small snowflakes floated inside. "Welcome to Hana." A man with short black hair, greeted me, somewhat bowing, and I walked further into the shop, fragrant with the smell of flowers. "I'm.. Uh, looking for something romantic." I managed to cough, somewhat covering my face. The man sighed. "Oh. That. Well, you should call Heracres for that." The man said, sighing somewhat. Maybe he wasn't a romantic person. Well, I couldn't call myself one either, though. A man appeared through another glass door, probably an entrance to a greenhouse, with a small cat following at his bare feet. "Kiku? Did you call?" He had a grin on his face, and was casually outfitted in sweat pants and a blue t-shirt, that had Greece's flag on it. The man sitting at the counter, who presumably was Kiku, nodded blankly, 'yes.'

"He wants something, Romantic." "Romantic huh? Well, I've got just the thing." Heracles beckoned me, and I followed him into the greenhouse, filled with even more curious plant specimens. "There's normal roses up front, but the better roses are here out back." We walked through a maze of more plants and flowers, orchids, daisies, fragrant and unfragrant, which blinded my senses for a split second. We were probably getting nearer, towards the back, as the man began to start a small conversation. "I didn't catch your name. I'm Heracles Karpusi." "I'm Ivan Braginsky." "Sounds Russian." "I am." I breathed and he gave a small chuckle. "I'm Greek. Mm.. And my buddy Kiku's Japanese. Anyways, who're you lookin' to give roses to?" He asked, as we approached several buckets filled with crimson red roses.

"Well, a friend of mine." I gave a small smile, and surprisingly, he smiled back, with green catlike eyes. "A friend, hm? Okay." The greek man chuckled audibly, and picked up a bouquet of roses. The cat standing at his feet meowed, as he handed the bundle to me, our hands slightly meeting. We walked out of the greenhouse, and I had quickly paid, roses in hand.

The snow had luckily died down, and my journey was relatively easy, as I burst through the wooden doors, and into the warmth of Alfred's house. I stretched my back, removed my shoes, and my consciousness was in relative peace, until I heard... Odd noises. Breathing, rocking, rough, ragged pants, that turned my cheeks crimson red. "Ivan.. Ivan.." He was calling my name, it had seemed he was in pain, and my legs urged me forward, rushing up the stairs, as my heart leaped out of my chest. Was he okay?... What.. Was.. Wrong? The noises were becoming louder, and I had arrived in front of his door, pounding, kicking until I heard a click, the hinges breaking. Alfred had his eyes clothes, calling my name his lips slightly parted panting.. "What's wrong?!" I yelled, shaking him, the sheets ruffling against curled toes. "Ah.. Nn." Another strange call... Maybe.. It was probably a bad dream.. It couldn't be.. What..I thought it was. He didn't think of me.. In that way did he? He couldn't. He even said it himself!

"Get up." I shook him violently, my fingers digging into the soft, warm flesh, reveling in the sensation. "Wake up." My hands raised, and slapped his face, as his eyes, filled with water, slowly opened, in shock. Words dripped out of my mouth, and both of us were red; The situation was awkward, and I wanted to see.. see.. What was 'wrong.' My hands took hold of the sheets, revealing something I've never seen before.. I began to stutter at the sight. As quick as I saw it, he had pulled the sheets, covering it, making me grin stupidly. "Go away." I heard him pant, which made me sigh. There was no way in hell, I was going away now.. I just wanted to coax those three words out of his parted lips; Those same affections his lower half felt, as he called my name. So, I attempted to comfort him. "It's okay, I understand." I purred, licking my lips.

"Like Hell." He muffled into the sheets, which made me chuckle slightly. "Come on, it's a... Normal.. Thing. And I um.. bought you roses." I quickly changed the subject, revealing his red face under the sheets. "I didn't ask for that." Alfred said, looking into my eyes. "So? I got you 'em." I replied, grabbing the roses and holding them to his face, forcing him to breath the scent. "Nn.. I um. Need to take a shower.. So.. Can you.. Leave?" Alfred asked, and I nodded no, silently grinned, as shock spread over his face. "Seriously dude. Leave." "Nyet."

I began to audibly laugh at that point. "Well? You gonna get up and take a shower or not?" I smirked. "Fuck you." At first, I was surprised, but the abnormality of his comment made me laugh harder. Alfred sometimes did have a slip of tongue, though I haven't gotten used to it. "Get up and go. I won't look." "Fuck. You." He repeated again, his eyes clearly showing he was mad. "C'mon." I was becoming more daring by the second.

I guess you could say, those four days were somewhat symbolic. A rare period of time where I didn't want to hold back anymore. A contract for my release, which made me daring, uncontrollable, wild. And I loved it.


	17. Chapter 17

**I have 3 Stories going and I haven't finished my first.. Well, it's impossible for me to do oneshots.. Because.. Intricacies..**

**-_- I'm sorry for late chapters, I've recently dedicated my free Time to musing over David Garrett's violin.. ;_;**

**~Gauntz and Eflwyn~**

* * *

Ivan was becoming strange. More stranger than usual. "Get out and take a shower then." I heard him coax, his tongue flicking across his teeth like fangs. Damn snake...But I desperately needed a shower.. Maybe water, preferably freezing, would cleanse my mind, my thoughts; My body. "Okay. Then, I'll take a shower." I stood uo, grabbing the white sheets, thickly wrapping my body in a cocoon, while dragging the remaining white tail behind me. All was well until I heard a small chuckle vibrating beneath Ivan's lips. I couldn't move, and I was only an arm's length towards the bathroom. "Hey, can you stop playing around with me? I actually need to shower." My voice was firm, never trembling, never... Unafraid. "Playing? Mm. What..?" I could feel the pressure of his bare feet on the sheets, and I slightly unwrapped them, quickly slipping into the bathroom, as his eyes wandered toward me. Or was it just my body..? He had Lithuania for that, right?...

I had remembered when Russia had visited my house, when Lithuania had lived at my house for awhile. "He's my ex, you know." I had remembered the Russian man said. My ex... So, I wasn't his first 'Love'?... It didn't matter. No affections, no love, nothing. There was nothing. I had to convince myself. How? Why?

My chest was heaving in constant anxiety, ragged breaths hauling up and down in my throat, giving me an encroaching fear, a paranoia. "What.. The.. Hell does he want with me? I-.. I don't.." What was the word? Understand? Comprehend? Want? Need?.. No.. I wanted him to stay; I wanted Ivan to go; For him to embrace me, wrap me in his blanket of warmth. Yet I'm unsure, and at least I'm unsure about my insecurities. Something I can understand. "Now I'm talking to myself." I shouted aloud. Not caring that Russia was only separated from me by a few feet. "Ha. Ha! Ha." I began to laugh, a stupid grin smacked on my face, overshadowed now, with maniacal laughter.. What's wrong with me? Why am I so... Insecure? I'm not the hero anymore, am I? If I reject Ivan's so-called 'feelings,'... If they were true.. I'd metaphorically break his heart. Would it be like Lithuania? He'd forget.. He'd..

"Snap out of it America." My lips moved on their own, my subconscious, warning me. God. I.. Needed to stop thinking about the man. If I keep this running streak of madness, who knows what'll happen. My legs, now shaking walked into the glass box that acted as a shower, and my hands fumbled over the metal knobs, letting cold water pound on my back, like a million tiny rocks. My underwear was wet from the water, as I had not taken it off, but I didn't care. It only consumed water, gaining weight, anchoring me to this world. The sane one. I waa determined to rid myself of my physiological reaction, without my hands, letting the cold water drip endlessly, and my mind was blank and bare, stripped clean of any thoughts, vulgar or otherwise.. The change of pace was nice, but once I turned off the water, my legs felt jittery, and collapsed onto the floor, like unsteady columns. Landing on your chest, on the bare linoleum floor, stung worse than any kick. "Ow." I managed to release a small sliver of my voice. At least... my arousal died down. Like hell, I would show Ivan something like that; That would mean he won. That I bore an attraction towards him.. But.. I didn't. I couldn't..

It probably was awhile, that I had spent my time under cold water, which had successfully weaves my muscles together, preventing them from any use. I couldn't call for Russia, after all. I was half-naked, and even half-nakedness was bad enough, now that he had confessed to me. He could do something funny, and I knew, deep down he was capable of pushing me down, forcing affections, thrusting them into me.. Like in my dream. "What do you want?" His voice throbbed incessantly in my head, like an annoying mosquito bite. "What do I want?" I muttered under my breath, slowly struggling to get onto my feet, the pain seeming to pull my muscles apart with each breath. "I hate cramps." I didn't keep any painkillers in the bathroom, unluckily, and I was forced to wrap a towel around my waist, and hope that Russia wasn't outside, waiting.

Luckily, he wasn't and a small wind of relief escaped my lungs, as I threw the towel onto the bed, then, the wet underwear. The bone chilling sensation that I had experienced every second Ivan was watching me, with those prowling violet eyes.. Gone. Finally, freedom. I used that small moment to change into my usual; My favorite bomber jacket, a white shirt underneath, jeans.. For a split second, I wondered what Ivan was wearing. Not like I cared. He probably wore his usual, a coat, thick and probably woolen, his white scarf he treated with such care..

I opened my now apparently, locked bedroom door, and their stood Russia; Not in his usual, a bouquet of roses in hand, dressed elegantly in a black suit. "Why.. Are you dressin' up so fancy?" I tried to fake a casual tone in my voice, but insecurity obviously bleached through. "Truthfully speaking, because I have four special days with the person I.." He obviously paused on purpose, so I could absorb the statement's surprising effects. "Love." He held a rise in his lips, but thorns were also visible, and his tongue and lips began to bleed..

"Ah! Are you okay?!" My hands flew toward his lips, wiping them away, and the Russian jumped back, somehow afraid.. I looked at my own hands, covered slightly in crimson red, and mused for a few seconde. Ivan, scared? Truly, that couldn't be. "F-France said, this type of thing would be romantic, so.." He sighed, exasperated. "I don't know how to be romantic. Just ask Lithuania." I had noticed after his surprising confession, Ivan became more truthful. At least, that was a positive thing.. "It's.. Um.." I was lost for words. If I told him he was 'good,' he'd be convinced I.. Liked him.. But he was my friend, after all..

"Uh yeah." Was all I could muster.

* * *

**Thank you Nirvana, Rammstein and Pocahontas for getting me through this chapter with more ideas! Mwahah!**

**Don't forget to Review/Subscribe/Follow/Favorite, and all that goodness!**

** ~Gauntz and Eflwyn~**


	18. Chapter 18

**I'm feeling fluffy and Romantic I think it's a good sign.**

**I think.**

**My feelings at the moment can be roughly translated into "Persona non Grata." The Doujinshi.**

* * *

"Well, where would you like to go? I'll take you there." I could still taste the salty blood, my own blood, and the pulsing feeling of Alfred's fingers on my lips. Perhaps he was growing to... Accept me, once again; And I was growing into a complete fool. America stood in complete silence, looking at me oddly. It wasn't my fault I wasn't a romantic, like Francis!.. My expression of 'feelings,' were much more... Physical. It was becoming extremely tiring now, waiting, and waiting for those three words to come out of those tightly shut lips. The wait made me angry. Very Angry. Yet sinisterly sweet cooes still trembled on my tongue.

"Well? What do you want? I'll provide." I tapped the shoes on the wooden floor, making a small, steay beat. "Um... Breakfast? Maybe, at Ludwig's? They're the only place that has hamburgers in the morning." "Mm." I grunted in distaste. I was thinking more of wining and dining at a restaurant, since I was dressed in my best attire. "Well, I do know a nice place we can go, da?" I attempted to sound like a gentleman, and maybe my disguise was slowly working.. "Really? Wherever you want dude." I caught a slight tremor in his voice, which made me chuckle a bit. Alfred WAS afraid of me, wasn't he? "Mm, then let's go. You should change, though. Dress code is formal, apparently." I looked at his jeans, his casual jacket, and grinned stupidly again. Let's play dress-up, Alfred.

"Mm. I can help if you want; I have a few formal things in my suitcase." I suggested, licking my lips in wait. If this was a 'date,' with Lithuania, things would be much faster. It was either America was terribly stupid, or too smart for his own good; But that made my affections and maybe even his, much more interesting...

"You sure? It's fine, I have an old suit England gave me. Haven't worn it though." England was the last name I wanted to hear at the moment, and I only wanted mine being called through his lips, selfishly, mine. "I'll just grab my case, be right back." I smiled as Alfred slightly backed away, and I ran down the hallway, eagerly grabbing the leather straps of my suitcase, then I ducked under Alfred's arms, throwing the suitcase onto the bed. "Come on! Dress up Time." I called out childishly, thoroughly enjoying the shock smeared deliciously on his face. Opening the part wooden and metal case, appeared my usual... And... a dress. A pink one.

"What the hell? You cross dress?" He peaked his head to the side, examining the pink dress, with a small corset... And...I looked strangely America, then back at the dress. A grin devilish grin appeared on my face again, and Alfred, noticing shook his head in defiance. "Hell no." He backed away slightly, as I flourished the dress, sizing Alfred up.. "Pretty please?" I looked at him faking puppy-dog eyes, yet he still stood on firm ground. "No way I'm wearing that dude. Are you crazy?" His eyes were open in shock. "Come on, Alfred. I'll be gone for a very, very long time after these four days.." I licked my lips, and I finally found his weakness; He was indecisive. He didn't want his friend to leave...right? He didn't want me to leave him... Because I was something to him, something worth his affections..

"Fuck. Fine.." He stammered, and I grinned. "But I have to see what's in those black boxes labeled, 'store,' you got at the mall, okay?" My grin disintegrated, morphing into a frown. "W-what? What are you talking about?" I lied, trying to play it cool, but Alfred persisted incessantly. "I knee it! You are hiding something. Well, we gotta deal right?" "Mm.." I thought hesitantly for a moment. "I will only let you see on the last day. It's a surprise." I smiled coldly, and America backed away even more. It was indeed a 'surprise,' I would never intend to use on Alfred but... Circumstances change, quite easily.

I had to fine another excuse, had to hide away those boxes. My thoughts were finally organized after a few moments, into a neat plan; I would get one of those boxes, hide a piece of wood inside, and give it to Alfred. That is, if he didn't confess after the given days until christmas. "Um.. Right.. I'll change then. Just.. Umm.. Leave." I heard him mutter, and I decided not to push my luck any further. I knew he would become angry, if I did; And that was in the interest in both parties. "Fine." I gave him another smile, then a wink which made him shiver, and I noticed his hands trembling on the pink fabric as I left the room, closing the door.

While America had been resting yesterday, I had also decorated the house, but not its Christmas tree. Lights illuminated the area, creating an artificial warmth that made me sigh happily. I leaned on the wall, waiting for America to emerge from the room, and he did; But he wasn't fully dressed in the dress.. Strings laid loose at the base of the corset, and only the pink dress was clothing him. I fought another urge, instead combating it, by averting his gaze. "Um. Ivan.. Uh.. Can you tie this..I can't reach this.." He turned around revealing the laces. "Um. Yeah.. Uhh." I marveled at the bare skin revealed, appearing in small bumps at the pressure; But it wasn't enough, obviously. "You sure..?" "Just hurry up and do it." He barked an order, which made me slightly irritated. "Mm. Okay." I grinned again, grabbing the laces and I jerked them back as he gave a cry. "Is it done?" He asked, obviously in pain. "No, not yet." I lied, wanting more of his flesh to be exposed through the tiny cracks of the corset. "God damn." Alfred cursed, as I drew back the strings again, and he let out another cry, a yelp of pain.. It was devilishly delicious, and also extremely reminiscent of various dreams I had encountered in his presence over the years. "Okay. I'm done." I nodded, looking at my handiwork, strings tied, and Alfred moved awkwardly. "Am I supposed to feel like this?" He asked, awkwardly shifting around his bare feet. The dress went up to his knees. "But.. Isn't it indecent to crossdress? I mean.." "Don't worry, I'll just say you're my manly girlfriend." I smiled, the remark instantly turning Alfred a crimson red, like the bouquet of roses he gripped in his hands.

Today, was going to be fun, I thought, licking my lips, a sadistic glint in my eyes.

Extremely fun.

* * *

**KYAA Surprise-Surprise Alfred's in a dress. If anyone's wondering, no, I'm not attempting to portray Ivan ****as a sadist. Just a really impatient, pissed off guy. Not in a bad way, though. ****I mean, who wouldn't if you confessed, and now had to wait for an answer. For several days.**

**By the way, the dress is Poland's, if anyone was wondering. **

**Don't forget to Favorite/Share/Follow/ And Review!**

**I love all you reviewers out there! **

**~Gauntz and Eflwyn~ **


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19. :D **

* * *

The dress was squeezing against my stomach, stifling a small scream. The damn thing was tight on my stomach and hips, and Russia's pulling didn't help. I could feel oarts of my skin sticking up awkwardly through the dress's cracks... But I did want to see what was in those boxes..I had left my glasses... Somewhere in my room, which left my face clear, but my vision, slightly blurry.

"Oh right. I also have shoes too." He pointed toward black stilletos that peaked out of the suitcase. "Oh god." I muttered, as he threw the pair to me, and I slipped them on. It was rather odd, and uncomfortable, and I caught the glint of Ivan's smile. This was for the boxes, This was for the boxes, I thought, chanting it over and over again, mentally. I walked into my room, examining myself, finding that I looked awkwardly tall in the small dress, as I formed a plan in which I would force Ivan into drag. Now, that would be fun.

"You look very nice." He grinned sadistically, which made me back away slighty in response, as he caught a hold of my hips. His grip dug into my skin, making me cry out slightly again, and his fingers relaxed. "Oh, uh, sorry. Just checking whether it was too tight or not." Ivan also stepped back, seeming awkward in a regal suit, and maybe; Just maybe, he held the same feelings I did. Yet I did not know what they were..

It was rather an extraneous mixture of awkwardity, set off by his piercing violet gaze, and an affection, a Stockholm Syndrome, more like that I resisted.

"Where are we going?" I asked him again. "Austria owns the place, and it's corset day. In the meanwhile, we're going shopping nearby, at the town's square." Ivan explained, and took my hand, his palms miraculously cold, and led my awkward-dressed self down the stairs. I gave out a nervous laugh, "Gee, you're really treating me like a princess, aren't ya?" I awkwardly chimed. That was a bad idea. His cold, icy hands took mine, pushing my back against the staircase so I was virtually pinned by his arms.

"Da.. My princess." His lips met mine fiercely, marking them as his own, as I tried to bend my neck away, yet he still persisted. "Stop." I slobbered, managing to slur the whole phrase. He drew back, as flushed as I was, as he straightened out the base of his suit jacket. "Yeah." He grabbed my hand, and 'led' me to the car, my short blonde hair and skin nudging out of the tiny cracks. Perhaps I did look like a girl; A manly girl. I grinned oddly at the immature thought.

I closed my eyes, hearing the dull thud of the car door shutting, feeling the familiar seat, and opened them to find his stare fixed on mine. "Where to?" I broke the silence, crossing my legs, and leaning back. "The square; Downtown-ish..? Nearby, da?" I was beginning to wonder how Ivan had remembered most of the places in or nearby where I lived; The thought made me confused, more than oddly scared, since, during the Cold War, and I had charted out some of his territory too. Partially.

The engine buzzed in a lazy monotone, and we had set off, and fifteen minutes of concentrated silence later, we had finally found a parking place. I patted around, realising I was wearing a dress, and my wallet wasn't in its usual place; I was penniless, in drag, and red... This day would be awful.

* * *

**ok, so I know I haven't been updating a crap ton or daily.**

**I apologize. It's school, and I've been studying and my phone, and Writer's Block... Yup. **

**so shorter chapters...**

**;(**


	20. Chapter 20

**So... Late.. Chapters... Sorry ;_; Well, at least I now have access to a laptop~ Anyways, I'm super super sorry for late chapters, but I promise I'll make it up.. Eventually.. **

**Super sorry for posting other chapters on other stories... My mind's a bit... restless -.- **

**YUP. **

***crying in corner of late chapters***

* * *

Oh, this day was going to be wonderful. Simply wonderful. Alfred was in an awfully tight dress, they had a couple of hours together... He licked his lips. Perfect. He found Alfred patting around, and decided to ask, "What are you looking for?" "My wallet." He crossed his arms. "I need quarters." His face was a bright red, and for a second, my mind wandered towards a more narcisstic area. Perhaps he... Was blushing because of me? No! It couldn't be... He probably couldn't breathe in the dress... Which made everything much, much more entertaining. "I have quarters." He took out his wallet, grabbing a few quarters, and noticed that parking fees weren't today. "We don't need quarters. Free parking today." "Oh really..? Huh." Alfred had a troubled look on his face. My previous actions scared him...

To be honest, a reason why I truly fell in love with Alfred was how he was always unafraid. It was a love, different from the fear and pain that I fed and inflicted upon Lithuania... No, it was deeper this time. It just had to be.

"Where shall we go, now...?" I took his hand before whispering in his ear. "Love." In response, I felt Alfred automatically pull back, but I held on tight. "Aw, come on. Have some fun." I ended up dragging Alfred, unfortunately out of the parking lot, like a wet, stubborn cat. Until we had crossed into the town square, I had let go, and Alfred followed behind me, obediently... That irritated me. The whole purpose of forcing Alfred into drag was to make him fight back, release all those feelings.. Perhaps feelings for me? That couldn't be..

"You're so silent. Well?" I asked, turning around to find him still as red as ever. "Say something..." I muttered. Still, there was silence, only the crowd bustling, the footsteps of strangers. "Please.." I shivered at the thought of scaring away Alfred, too. More silence. "Please..." I begged, now clutching at his shoulder. "Gee, why so emotional..?" Allfred backed away, a grin on his face. "Quit being a baby." He laughed, and I could easily tell it was forced, due to the artificial way his lips curved. "Hm..." I observe, as I felt a desperate look overtake my eyes. "Since you're paying, let's go.. There." He pointed to a boutique. A pink boutique. I laughed, and he stepped back, obviously embarrassed. "Look, if you're going to force me in a pink damn dress, I might as well look like a girl." Alfred growls. I chuckled under my breath this time, hands in pockets, as I followed him into the small shop. The woman at the front counter looked at us oddly. "Um, do you have the wrong pl-" Before she could finish, I moved my eyes towards her, and smiled. "Please, we're customers." "Oh Y-yeah.. Right this way." She stands up, taking Alfred's hand, leading him to some other room. This was going to be great..

I sat in the corner, in a plain chair, tapping my shoes, wondering what the blonde was doing. I leaned back, closing my eyes before noticing a very, very familiar figure. A tall blonde man, with blue eyes, and a thoroughly monotone look across his face. Apparently, he had noticed my observant state, and walked into the shop, somewhat now alerted. "Ivan!.. Is that really you..?" I nodded yes. "W't a coincidence..How's things with Alfred..?" He asks, settling in the seat near me. "Oh, it's going quite well." I licked my lips, still smeared with a grin. "Tha's good. W'll friend, It was nice saying Hi, but I've g'tta go. In a h'rry." As fast as he came, Berwald raced away. "So I'm his friend now... I have another friend. I grinned, a real one, a small one. Soon, I was presented with the choice of leaving Alfred to fend for himself, or stay. I decided to stay, and Alfred finally emerged from the pink curtains with a wig, styled hair and... Feminine figure.. "'Ere's your lady. Leave." "Wait, I need to p-" "Leave." The woman gave me an awful look, that made even me, shiver, as she pushed us both out of the shop. She probably thought we were weirdos, staging some prank..

Alfred turned toward me. "God damn Ivan." He pouted, making him a million times cuter. "Mm..?" I leaned towards him, forcefully bending his neck, since Alfred wouldn't do it himself. I mashed my lips together with his, forcefully slipping in my tongue, then, I pulled back, as he looked into my eyes, breathless. "W-what.." He held onto my shoulders, as I felt his hands trembling.

I knew it. He was afraid. At that moment, I wanted to run awayand cry...

But I bit my lip, and maintained my usual, calm, cool and collected stature.

"What the hell..?" He looks at me, glowing red. "My face slipped." I grinned. "Screw you." I returned that with a smile. "Well, where to?" The american looks at me. "Wherever you want." "The bathroom." For what? I thought, and then the obvious smacked me across the face. "Oh. yeah.." After a while of searching, we found the bathroom, a relatively medium-sized building, with two doors, reserved for each gender. "Hey um.. Can you guard the door..?" Alfred asks me, this time, not looking at my eyes, averting my gaze. "Why..?" "Because they'll think I'm a girl." He rushes into the men's bathroom without a word, and I stand outside, on guard, awkwardly shuffling my feet around.

* * *

**Oh god I'm sorry this chapter was awful but I had homework and clubs and student council and relationships and...****life**

**SORRY **

**;_;**


	21. Chapter 21

**I love you reviewers. To be honest, I cried at the recent reviews (because I'm a huge baby,) because you guys are so nice! I love you all! ^^ Then, I thought; "Oh my god, guilt because of late chapters." **

**yeah. .-. A little rant.**

* * *

I automatically ran past the urinals, and locked myself into the stalls. It was a pale blue, and I had over-examined it, much to my satisfaction. There was a small, heated argument in the corner, several swear words, and illegible writing. That had calmed me, for a few seconds, until the thought came to Ivan. Ivan. The name echoed in my head, like an old, abused gong. That.. Person, that seemed to terrify me, yet seem innocent, loving.. Wait? I think he's loving? I smacked the sense into me, rubbing at my temples, before taking a deep breath. I decided to move around, orientate my body in the tight space, walking around, and not using the restroom at all. I just neede a breather. Yeah... Just a breather, I thought to myself.

I look into the mirror, profanity written in sharpie, and various other stains, slanted on the somewhat clear surface. It reflected now dark bags under my eyes, blonde ruffled hair, which both, made me appear tired. Paranoid. Scared.

"Fuck." I cursed under my breath, rubbing my eyes; I wasn't exactly tired, but I wasn't rested either.. Perhaps yesterday was restless.. Restless.. I swallowed nervously, my thoughts skidding toward the darkest corner; The dream. "Don't think about this shit now Alfred.." I muttered, mentally reassuring myself that Ivan wouldn't do anything, anything forceful.. But he'd do something even worse; Coax me into loving him.

I walked out of the bathroom, after a while of attempting to fix a grin on my face, and Ivan took my hand as I approached him. "Well? Where to?" He sounded like an overly-eager butler. "Wherever the hell you want to go." My thoughts on 'the dream,' in which I've now labeled the 'it,' made me moodier than usual, and the explosive mixture of embarrassment and anger was not beneficial for both parties.

"Don't need to be so.. Moody.." The russian steps back, perhaps taking offence. "I'm trying to be nice today. I'm trying, okay?" He looks at me, with a tired, desperate look. "I'm trying really, really hard. Why can't you return my feelings..?" I simply nod no, unable to, not wanting to understand the syllables that left his lips. I had light ammounts, or perhaps generous, of makeup on my face, which stinged my skin, making it turn more redder than it usually was; Which was a lot since Ivan confessed.

"I want you to love me." He grips my shoulder, the bare fingers digging into revealed flesh. "I want you to-" People began to stare, and Ivan let go, his eyes still piercing mine, a thin veil surrounding us, like a downcast grey raincloud. I stepped back, still afraid of him, his violet eyes and snow white hair. My lip trembled as I spoke the words that seemed to trickle outwards. "I don't like you.. I-in fact, I'll never like you, I've never liked you I-" His large hand covered my mouth before I could say anything, as he pushed me back inside the restroom. "Don't say anymore.." I could tell his eyes were beginning to water.. Ivan.. Cries?.. I thought at first. I was confronted with the instinct to comfort him... Yet I couldn't. He'd only misinterpret that.

"Please.. I.." His Voice broke, as he pinned me onto the wall, his arms, barring any possible form of escape. "I love you, Alfred. Can't you see that?" His voice shook, with rage. "I.. Nn.." I could tell Ivan was holding something back, and now his behaviour was now all apparent..

I pushed him away from me, and he stood back, as I did too, dumbfounded. "I can't say the same. I can't." I nodded no, solemnly. Ivan looks into my eyes, begging, but still I continue to nod no, denying him, denying myself, denying all the world.

This was just a simple game of 'Yes, or no'

Simple..

Definetely Simple.

* * *

Don't forget to favorite/subscribe/follow/review

Every review

I cry everytime

ok. When you review.

i cry tears of joy


	22. Chapter 22

**I'm back. Yay. I've got school and things.. I apologize deeply for this inconvenience, but I've finally found a time-slot solely dedicated to writing fanfics!**

**Anyways, don't forget to like/favorite/possibly PM me/rant/review/subscribe/follow/share and review! I love all you reviewers out there; You make my day.**

* * *

My hands, fingers, trembled at the amount of force that I had forced onto the other. As I slowly blinked, realising my sudden break, backing into the tiled bathroom wall. As my hands nervously, impulsely raked through my dirty golden hair, making it reflect like silver, I took a breath. "I'm sorry, this isn't.." I look away before saying the rest of my sentence. "You really want me gone.." Before I could storm away, I heard Alfred's voice, quaking in...fear, perhaps? Everyone feared me, yet I did not know why.. "No.. I don't.." His chest frame was heaving.. "What, was that..?" I turn around, looking at him, a mix of confusion, and shame. "I don't want you to leave..." Alfred takes off the wig, ruffling his blonde hair. "I don't.. know.." He looks away, looking odd in the dress, which drove me towards further actions. Ripping away the wig, I began to undo the dress, pulling at the ropes, undoing them. "Get out of this.. Just.." I had been blessed, or cursed with the estranged thought that I had loved him, as a girl, more than himself, that perhaps this made him unsure, and I had began ripping away at the dress, leaving him in his usual attire, in one of the stalls, as I rushed to grab normal clothes...

As I left, the American was fixed with another odd look.. Relief, perhaps?.. I buried the thought away, as I soon found myself later, with a bag of newly purchased clothes. I knock on the familiar stall. "Alfred?... You there?" "I'm here. Pass the clothes." I threw the simple pair of denim jeans, and a clean white t-shirt riddled with it's new, formalehyde smell, and I hear strings, and a series of zippers. He emerged in stilletos, and the clothes I had given him. He obviously wasn't happy..

"Why'd you do that..?" He sighed, rubbing at his temples... "You're really.. Why.." "You didn't like it, did you? I've done everything you've wanted, right?..." I had noticed my actions, and sourly attempted to watch them.. "I.. I didn't like it. I didn't hate it.. I don't.." "You don't know, huh? Do you ever?" I was tapping my feet impatiently, the bathroom still empty. I couldn't wait, as the feeling was thoroughly consuming me, my sanity, my thoughts, and all that mattered, condensing into one objective.. That could never be accomplished at this state of time. "Let's just eat dinner, and go, okay? You.. You can Go. If you want." It was then, that I was compelled to talk back but I clenched my jaw on any unnecessary words attempting to escape.

"Yeah." I breathed. It was nearly time anyways, and I.. I had wanted to have this traumatic experience, over for Alfred.. This was all because of me. The pain that I had inflicted on both myself, and him.. What love was that? Surely it wasn't anything platonic, yet it was riddled with a.. Wrong attraction. Walking quickly through the strip mall, we had finally found the small, 'fancy,' restaurant. In front, stood a guard in a stately uniform. He looked at first me, then Alfred and shook his head. "May you please let us in..?" I tried to split apart my face, in a perfect smile, and the man stood back. "Uh.. Yeah, Mister.. Go ahead.." He gives us an odd look, that I cannot describe nor willingly comprehend, as we walk in, given our seats, outside beneath French Lavender, nearby a black, Grand piano.

First, Alfred settled into the gilded metal frame of delicately crafted metal chairs, then I had done the same, my eyes studying his every move. I decided not to say a word, lest it offend the other.

"So.. Ivan.." He had broken the silence first. "What'd... You.. Put in those black boxes?.." Was he still pursuing this..? I sighed. "Things I bought for my own personal use." That was half true, of course. "Aww come on, can't you tell me? Please?" He looks, deepset, sparkling blue eyes, reflecting my own, violet.. "Things." He drew back, noticing how perhaps from his viewpoint, how stubborn I was acting, and I heard an audible sigh. "When's our waiter going to get here..?" Another tap, of an impatient stiletto

* * *

I know. it sucked ;-;

Don't forget to review.. .-.


End file.
